(insert)

Bollocks.

2008-03-12T12:16:00.003-04:00

I should be doing homework, I really should. It's not so much procrastination as I simply can't bring myself to do it. I don't know what the hell is up with this. Maybe it's the whole working under stress thing, I don't know. I generally seem to do work more when I'm down to the last couple of days, which is actually right now. I should probably just attribute it to laziness.
Actually, I have 3 assignments that are due in the next few days, and 2 or 3 more I have to work on that are due a few weeks from now.

Man, I suck at this. I haven't been that motivated this semester. I probably wore myself out last semester. I hate to think of what university is going to be like...

Dramatic Tilt/My Eyes are Mirrors

2008-03-12T07:16:00.004-04:00

Look into my eyes and you might see what I see.

Nine Inch Nails)*(Ghosts I-IV

2008-03-07T21:56:00.014-05:00

In what seems to be an abandonment of his former procedure of releasing a record every 2-4 years or so, Trent Reznor has released his second major record in the past 11 months, the first being April 2007's Year Zero, or third if you choose to include the remix album Y34RZ3R0R3M1X3D (Year Zero Remixed for the unleet). This new record is entitled Ghosts I-IV, an entirely instrumental piece of work stretching over 4 volumes, with 9 tracks each, falling into a neat, tidy little stack of 36 songs, which comes to a total of 1 hour, 50 minutes and 8 seconds.
This is Reznor's biggest release since 1999's The Fragile. Truth be told, it actually is over 7 minutes longer than it's predecessor, but let's not trouble ourselves with specifics from this point forward.
This release is not recommended for those who only listen to Nine Inch Nails for the angst-filled lyrics, or in the case of Year Zero, the deep delve into Orwellian prediction. Ghosts I-IV is for the fans of Nine Inch Nails, the people who respect Reznor as a musician and not a spokesperson for every angst-filled teenager seeking to rebel against their parents. Granted, it is also an album for people who like pure instrumentals, fan of Nails or not. Not one to discriminate, this release is for pretty much everyone.
Also worth mentioning is that the album was released via the peer-to-peer filesharing website The Pirate Bay. Reznor also released the album through his site in 5 formats: the free download, which includes the first volume as well as the full 40 page .pdf booklet of photography; the $5 download, which includes the full album as well as the .pdf; the $10 order of the 2-CD set along with a 16 page booklet; the $75 deluxe edition which includes the 2-CDs, a DVD with the 36 tracks in multi-track format, and a Blu-Ray disc with the entire album on high-definition stereo, and lastly the $300 Ultra-Deluxe Limited Edition package, which is completely sold out.

Tracklisting (no joke):

1 Ghosts I
2 Ghosts I
3 Ghosts I
4 Ghosts I
5 Ghosts I
6 Ghosts I

7 Ghosts I
8 Ghosts I
9 Ghosts I
10 Ghosts II
11 Ghosts II
12 Ghosts II
13 Ghosts II
14 Ghosts II
15 Ghosts II

16 Ghosts II

17 Ghosts II
18 Ghosts II
19 Ghosts III
20 Ghosts III
21 Ghosts III
22 Ghosts III
23 Ghosts III
24 Ghosts III
25 Ghosts III
26 Ghosts III
27 Ghosts III
28 Ghosts IV
29 Ghosts IV
30 Ghosts IV
31 Ghosts IV
32 Ghosts IV
33 Ghosts IV
34 Ghosts IV
35 Ghosts IV
36 Ghosts IV

HIM )*( Endless Dark

2007-10-12T00:04:00.000-04:00

I first started really listening to this song a lot last year. Since then, it has been a staple in my playlist for whenever I'm practicing singing by my lonesome.

Artist: HIM
Album: Love Metal
Song: Endless Dark

Click here to listen to 'Endless Dark (Live Acoustic)'

Click here to listen to 'Endless Dark (Album Version)'

Softly the light shines in through
the gates of grace on me and you,
Deceiving our restless hearts

A flickering flame, so serene,
devours the night so we can see
the dear we hold onto so strong

And I know where I belong,
Away from your gods
That heal all wounds and light this endless dark

Lonely the light shines on you,
through the gates of fire entombed
Feeding on your love

Weak is the blaze that kept me away
from cruelty and tenderness embraced
Saving my soul no more

And I know where I belong
Away from your gods
That heal all wounds and light this endless dark

That shine on you and tame
your burning heart
That bury my truth right into your arms
That worship the tomb of
our forlorn love

That heal all wounds and light this endless dark

You know, I really have no explanation as to why I like this song so much. It's pretty much just an awesome fucking song. I think a part of it has to do with the way the chorus is sung. Anyway, this song hauls a sufficient amount of ass. I'm really digging the acoustic version right now. I would even go so far as to say I like it better than the album version.

DJ Krush .:. Candle Chant (A Tribute)

2007-09-03T21:03:00.000-04:00

It's rare nowadays, when people say that they want to move on and I actually believe them. This town I live in, the people are like that. It's all talk and no action. It's as if the citizens are waiting for the motivation that will never come, the destination they'll never see. Even I myself will sound like a hypocrite at a point such as this. Here I am, about to start my first year of college in my home-fucking-town that I've wanted to rid myself of for so long. For years, I've found my mind wandering outside the boundaries this city has set up. This town is the man in black sunglasses telling you to run with the gun at your back. It's the relative that calls you home to take care of the rest of the family because your last elder has died. It's the vacuum that pulls you back in, time and again. I know I'm stronger than this place. I know I can beat this town.

A few friends have escaped, for good. I hope to join them. I'll only be staying in this town one more year. I've made this promise to myself. Where I'll go, I'm not sure. I've got some vague ideas, but nothing concrete as of this point in time. Maybe London, maybe Toronto, maybe Edmonton, Montreal, Vancouver... I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. All I know is this: anywhere but here will do.

This town is beautiful. Your proximity to nature, the isolation, everything about it. It's a great place to live if you have no ambition, no sense of self, no desire to experience the world. It's a beautiful place to live if you wish to retire. I don't wish that yet, though I'm sure that I will return here at some point in my life. Only for a moment, though. I love this town. It's raised me, taught me the values of life and friendship and love. These everyday things that most take for granted because they think these things will just always be there, waiting for the next phone call or text message, wanting to see how they're doing. Prentend interest in these topics as they contemplate how to break it to you that the only real reason they're talking to you is that they're bored and everyone else is busy.

Each gust of polluted water-smelling wind is enough reason for me to pack up my shit and get the fuck out of here. I will not be dragged down. I am a genius. I am a tough motherfucker. I've been an Owen Sounder for 19 years, and it's time to move on. A siren's just gone off. In a town this small everyone cares why the siren goes off... They just pretend not to.

Artist: DJ Krush
Album: Zen (1999)
Click here to listen to Candle Chant (A Tribute)

You know what I absolutely love?

2007-08-02T02:42:00.000-04:00

When people invite me out under the pretense of doing something that doesn't suck, only to start making out with their girlfriend who has no respect for anything that isn't her own opinion. I love watching couples argue, then patch up by sucking each other's eyes out through their mouths, only to start arguing again.

I also love that when I jokingly suggest that they cut the shit and do something that doesn't involve me becoming impotent from watching their disgusting public display of affection, they somehow get the idea that I'm serious and accuse me of jealousy, as if I somehow want some yappy little thing criticizing me every chance she gets (and sometimes even when she doesn't get a chance), and getting offended when I leave the room and calling her out on her bullshit, leaving everyone feeling awkward just before a storm of moronic accusations and insults lets loose from her mouth with the fury of a spoiled 5 year-old who is refused the toy that he wants, so he screams and kicks at his dumbass parents who have no idea how to raise a child properly and thus reward the charming little tyke for his troubles with the toy that he wants and a large milkshake that he throws away after two sips because he's now decided it isn't the flavour he wants. Yeah, that appeals to me. I'm envious. I really want to be insulted repeatedly to the point where I just give up so I'm left with a little peace and quiet while my friends are forced to sit through this bullshit day by day and my dignity is once again effectively clawed to shreds.

Seriously though, fuck this shit. If I'm going to be invited out, save the bedroom shit for when you're alone. Save the arguments for when you're alone. If I'm there for this crap, I'm going to make the situation bad or worse out of spite. Why would I do this, you might ask. In case you couldn't infer this from my above paragraphs, I, in fact, very much dislike being invited out under the pretense of non-suckitude only to be hit in the face with a vision of full-on mouth sex, followed by pointless arguing. I would even go so far as to say I hate it. It makes me uncomfortable. When I get uncomfortable, I get pissy. So if you're going to make sit through your sickening make-out session and then argue, I'm going to use whatever I have at my disposal to make everyone else just as pissy as I am.

"Why don't you just get up and leave?", one might ask. I've tried that, only to either get bitched out later, or worse, asked "Why did you leave?". So I've decided to try to drill it into your skull instead. You don't pull shit like this on me, intentional or not, without knowing how I feel about it. If you invite me out and you're with your girlfriend, a few pecks on her cheek every now and then is fine. I don't give a fuck. But if you invite me out and then spend all of your time dry-humping the girl who can't shut that ever-squawking trap that is never bereft of criticism, no matter how inane it may be, for two fucking minutes, then I'm going to make my thoughts known, and you aren't going to like it. If you try to insinuate jealousy on my part, then I'm going to slam you a face-full of your ass with all the trimmings. Quite frankly, I like to think that I have a little more respect for my friends than having them bear witness to the goings-on in my bedroom.

Also, I've chosen this song because it: A) Rocks hard ass and B) I feel it suits the mood I'm in. Eat my ass.

Redneck
Artist: Lamb of God
Album: Sacrament (2006)

John5)*(The Devil Knows My Name

2007-05-16T17:13:00.000-04:00

It's time to review another album, kiddies. This is something I should have been doing recently but haven't been because... well, I'm just too fucking lazy when it gets right down to it. However, I felt that the time has come to review, and have chosen yet another excellent release to blow you the fuck away. This time it's third solo album from ex-Marilyn Manson and current Rob Zombie guitarist John Lowery (aka John 5). This new effort from Mr. 5 is entitled The Devil Knows My Name, and is essentially an album inspired by a great many famous American serial killers. Interesting, as this album has no vocals save for prerecorded samples.

John 5 has proven his talent in his first two efforts, and this makes those albums look like garbage. The way this man moves his way around the fretboard almost might have one think that it's covered in oil. The song First Victim might have one think differently, but that view would soon change with the next song The Werewolf of Westeria (the nickname of serial killer Albert Fish). The second longest song on the album clocking in at eight minutes and thirty-nine seconds, this song does not hold back from giving your ears an orgasm.

The song ends almost as quickly as it has begun, which is odd for an eight minute epic, but no matter. We are quickly lead into the song 27 Needles, a delightful hillbilly-ish song that is also a reference to Albert Fish, in that it was discovered upon an infamous X-ray that the killer had shoved 27 needles into his pelvic region. This song switched from fast hillbilly twanging to a much harder and much faster hard rock sound. This song carries on for six minutes and fifty five seconds, never getting boring.

Bella Kiss is up next, which is quite a soft song, actually. Far too soft.

Black Widow of La Porte begins almost as softly as Bella Kiss, but doesn't stay that way for long. Before you know it, the song explodes into vicious guitar solo attack on your eardrums, assaulting the senses with delightfully fast and energetic guitar playing. This song is a reference to Norwegian-American female serial killer Belle Gunness, whose motives for killing were apparently life insurance benefits. Mr. 5 wastes no time in making sure your brain is constantly carpet-bombed in this track.

The next track is cover of Guns n' Roses Welcome to the Jungle. An excellent cover version I might add, as it has no vocals taking away from the brilliance of the musicians behind the song. Not to detract from the original, as it is an excellent song and Axl Rose made his Guns' version a masterpiece, but this version is so much better, what with John 5 taking it apart and putting it back together as just one more bomb in the assault on your brain.

Harold Rollings Hymn is an edited version of a song Danny Rollings, a convicted serial killer, sang before he was executed.

Dead Art in Plainfield is a reference to killer Ed Gein. Done in the style of 70's and 80's hard rock, this song clocks in at eight minutes long and doesn't let go of your balls throughout. Featuring John 5 yet again attacking you with astounding solos and being backed by a groovy beat, you're drawn in immediately and don't want to leave until the song is done.

The next song is another cover song, this time Young Thing by Chet Atkins. Not unlike the original, one gets into the swing of the song immediately. This song is a true toe-tapper if there ever was one.

Up next is the second to last song, The Washing Away of Wrong. This song starts off slow, but picks up speed fairly quickly. If you've ever heard either of John 5's first two albums, than this track will definitely remind you of the sound that was common in both of those, in that it is darker with a swinging beat. It kind of makes one want to barbecue in nothing but a wifebeater and shorts with a beer in hand. Though I myself always feel that way, so that's likely just bias. This is the longest song on the album, clocking in at eight minutes and forty three seconds.

The last song on the album, July 31st (The Last Stand) is a reference to killer David Berkowitz's last victim, who died on the 31st of July. This a slower song, and has a much darker sound than anything heard previously, be it on this album or his previous works. Clocking in at four minutes and ten seconds, and almost entirely devoid of solos (as compared to the other tracks), this song is a fitting end to an excellent record. It's almost melancholic.

John 5 hauled a sufficient amount of ass to make sure that this record would be an assault on the senses, and not an unwelcome one at that. As stated before, Mr. 5 has proven his talent prior to this record, and with this record he makes it seem as if he weren't even trying on his previous efforts. This album contains all of the elements for a good time: energy, funky beats, and wicked shredding solos. I highly recommend this record to anyone who believes that they have musical taste. I bet Marilyn Manson is shitting in his shoes every time he hears John 5's solo albums.

Tracklisting
1. First Victim
2. The Werewolf of Westeria
3. 27 Needles
4. Bella Kiss
5. Black Widow of La Porte
6. Welcome to the Jungle
7. Harold Rollings Hymn
8. Dead Art in Plainfield
9. Young Thing
10. The Washing Away of Wrong
11. July 31st (The Last Stand)

Yet Another Month...

2007-04-21T23:35:00.000-04:00

I'm probably going to start posting my poetry and songs that I've written on here pretty soon. Some of my more recent stuff is.. well, just fucking brutal. Other stuff (the majority) is much more down-to-earth, much calmer. Not necessarily nice, but not mean, either. Much better than most of the stuff I've written in the past, as now I'm paying attention to structure, syllables, and all of that shit.

I'm kind of... well, not sad, but not happy, because I haven't been writing stories recently. I've been focusing more on songs and just getting out of the fucking house. I also really haven't had much inspiration for stories, or if I have, it's only really been momentary. Oh well. Can't win 'em all, I suppose.

So...

2007-03-17T13:00:00.000-04:00

Almost a month has passed since my last entry. Not a lot has happened. Nothing really noteworthy, anyway. Doesn't really matter though. No one reads this thing.

Slipknot - Self-titled Album

2007-02-19T02:22:00.000-05:00

Now, I know my plan for a weekly album review fell through quite hard, but I wasn't in the mood until right now. So basically, I'm revising my plan so that you're getting an album review whenever I feel like writing one.

If I were to describe Slipknot’s self-titled album in 3 words, it would be “pretty fucking heavy”. Although technically the bands’ sophomore release after 1996 saw the distribution of Mate.Feed.Kill.Repeat., this has long been considered by both fans and, very likely, the band itself as the debut album, this remains the groups’ most powerful, raw and essentially brutalizing album to date. This is an album that starts off very fucking dark, dreary and deliciously heavy, and gets more and more so as it progresses.

Starting with the introductory track 742617000027, the listener is immediately struck by a thought of “What the hell is this shit?” Since it is 36 seconds of the same two sentences being repeated over and over again in varying speeds and volume, this is entirely understandable. Then the track ends. Without hesitation, the song (sic) begins with explosive guitar riffs and pounding drums. The entire song is built off of the adrenaline produced in the first 30 seconds, and that adrenaline does not go away. This is one of those songs that, whether there is room or not, you thrash or at the very least want to.

Leading into Eyeless, the song starts off with a build-up where the listener is expecting something that will make their ears bleed. While they don’t get that, they receive an earful of a blood-curdling scream from Corey Taylor. Fast-paced and energetic, this song is much like (sic) in that the energy does not dissipate at any point in the song. It is however, a different kind of energy, at least for myself. When I listen to this, I can feel ever muscle in my body tightening, my fists and jaw clench. An easy way to describe it would be a fighting song, a song that just makes you want to grab the nearest person and start beating the living hell out of them, just on the off chance that they will hit you back or have a few of their buddies help them out. It’s a song where you hate everyone and love every minute of it.

Wait and Bleed, one of Slipknot’s most well-known songs, if not the most well-known song. The song begins fairly easy on the ears, perhaps tricking the listener into thinking that the entire song may be that way. Dead wrong. Though not as energetic as the previous songs, it is equally as powerful. The song is a narrative about a man who believes he is dreaming about lying in a bathtub filled with blood with cuts in his wrists. He discovers that he is in fact, not dreaming, but opts not to believe it, instead choosing to wait and bleed as he tries to wake up.

Surfacing begins with a screeching guitar intro, building up to the group’s well-known “Fuck you all!” This song is described as the “new national anthem”, in that it can apply to everyone everywhere. The song builds itself around the idea that one should not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks, they should just be their own person.

Spit It Out is mainly a rap song, the energy gathered in the previous songs culminating in one devastating tune. The song is a retaliation of sorts to verbal mudslinging. The song is about not taking the shit people say about you behind your back and confronting them about it.

Tattered & Torn is one of the more disturbing songs on the album , if you listen to it, read the lyrics, or both. Certainly a song about being driven to suicide, this song does not let you go once you start listening. It isn’t exactly depressing, but is certainly a song that just leaves you saying to yourself “Whoa.”

Next we have Me Inside. What would be described today as an “emo song” would only be labeled as such by the ignorant because as far as I’m concerned, while I may have used that term myself a fair bit (by accident, I assure you), the term “emo” is fiercely ignorant. “Emo” has become something like a curse word, where in truth it simply stands for something emotional. I see nothing wrong with that, but I guess people shouldn’t write songs based off of their emotions.

Anyway, Me Inside (and the previous song Tattered & Torn as well) certainly falls into the emotional category, albeit something very dark, something most people try to pretend doesn’t exist.

Liberate is a welcome return to the energy and adrenaline present in the first few songs of the album. Certainly a loser anthem if I’ve ever heard one, this is another fighting song, one where you find yourself feeling you should go up to the bully that gave you all that shit through school, took your money, shoved you in the mud, and start feeding him a plate-full of his own ass with all the trimming.

Prosthetics is a song about stalking gone overboard. Based loosely off of a 1960’s film called The Collector, this song is another narrative, this time from a stalker who winds up kidnapping the woman he’s been following, eventually killing and fucking her. Another fairly disturbing song.

I am of the opinion that there is only one word appropriate to describe No Life, and that is simply “badass”. Fast-paced and energetic, it is quite similar to Spit It Out. Both are rap songs, and both are about not taking people’s bullshit.

Diluted is one of the best examples of a song that gets across a feeling of alienation that I’ve ever heard. Some of you may recall a while back I posted something similar in Music At Knife Point. Read that post, I’m getting lazy and really don’t feel like repeating myself.

Only One is one of the most intense songs on the album. The song is somewhat of another loser anthem, sort of like when you were a kid you may have been picked on by a bunch of people to the point where you completely flipped out and started trying to beat on the nearest person. Quite a few songs like that on this album.

Scissors is easily the darkest and most intense song on the entire album. This is very likely a song about heroin addiction. This is another song the brings you into its arms once you start listening, and it doesn’t let you go. The squeeze just keeps getting tighter, to the point where you can’t stand to hear Taylor’s screaming anymore but you can’t change the track because you want to see where the song is going. Not my favourite song on the album, because it usually leaves me feeling fairly depressed, but it is one that I can’t help but finish once I start it.

Eeyore is just a psychotic, ranting, raving lunatic song that bleeds awesome from every drumbeat.

Tracklisting:
1. 742717000027
2. (sic)
3. Eyeless
4. Wait And Bleed
5. Surfacing
6. Spit It Out
7. Tattered & Torn
8. Me Inside
9. Liberate
10. Prosthetics
11. No Life
12. Diluted
13. Only One
14. Scissors
15. Eeyore

Rubber Johnny

2007-01-27T19:10:00.000-05:00

Tool - Rosetta Stoned

2007-01-23T00:58:00.000-05:00

Alright then, picture this if you will:
10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition,
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me,
It's gotta be,
Deadhead Chemistry,
The blotter got right on top of me,
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.

You better.
You better.
You better.
You better listen.

When he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes.
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down.
This is so real.
Like the time he floated away.
See my heart is pounding,
'Cause this shit never happens to me.

Can't breathe, right now!
It was so real.
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sort of terrifying.
And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
It was a repeat experience
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real.
Finally it's my lucky day.
See my heart is racing,
'Cause this shit never happens to me.

Can't breathe, right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I just said, see they're telling true.
And this wasn't all in my head.
See they took me by the hand and invited me right in,
Then they showed me something.
I don't even know where to begin.

STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
GOD DAMN. SHIT THE BED!

(high... I I I I I... high... I I I I I)
(high)
[repeated]

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the one.
Born to bear and read to all
The details of our ending.
To write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen,
Shit the bed again,
Typical.

STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
SUNKIST AND SUDAFED, GYROSCOPES AND INFRARED.
WON'T HELP, BRAIN DEAD.
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!

I...!!!

CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME.
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME.
MADE OUT TO BE, A HERO!!!
Can't remember what they said.

OH NO, HELP NOW.
Can't remember what they said.

DON'T KNOW.
WON'T KNOW.
[repeated]

GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!

Click here to listen to 'Rosetta Stoned'

Quite possibly some of the greatest lyrics I've ever read and listened to are in highlighted in red and in bold.

Zombie Master

2007-01-14T21:00:00.000-05:00

Zombie Master.

You scored 69% survivability and 60% kickass-ability!

You were born for z-day. Not only will you be killing zombies left and right, but you will be leading the other survivors. You will be the one making decisions and the person who is looked to for advice. Congratulations.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on survivability
You scored higher than 99% on kickass-ability

Link: The Non-lame Zombie Survival Test written by jesmanpokeyfun on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Rammstein)*(Live aus Berlin

2007-01-04T08:01:00.000-05:00

This has to be the single best live album I've heard in my life. Now, in general I'm not too big on live albums for one reason: I'm not there to experience it for myself. It's one of those things where I feel like the band is just releasing this to tease the people who've never been to one of their concerts. I know that probably isn't true but the fact still remains, this album is like having really good sex, and then just when you're getting into it, the realization that you actually aren't there hits you like hearing your parents or sibling walk in your door. After that everything is awkward for a while. You kind of keep away from everything after that for a while. So I've heard, anyway.

That aside, this Live aus Berlin is excellent. It's everything one would imagine Rammstein to be in concert, and then some. Their live sound is much heavier than that which they put out on studio albums. They have a sound which I've found that can never truly be duplicated. In fact, one would be hardpressed to even try to copy it. Why one would want to is completely understandable: it's awesome. The energy is transferred exquisitely. The rush you get is like finding out you're going to be in a fight that you've been wishing and hoping for for a long time.

Rammstein has a sound that really only European bands - more specifically German bands - can make. It's somewhat of a stark contrast between the music of Europe and North America, one that I'm hardpressed to explain and really don't care to attempt anyway. I grade music in two sections: awesome and not-awesome. Nationality isn't usually a factor in this, it is more of a casual observation. Namely, the observation mainly consists of the opinion that musicians from Europe kick the shit out of most musicians from North America. That's not to say that North American musicians don't have talent. Far from it, I know plenty of extremely talented musicians. I'm just saying that Europe has more.

I have no idea where that last paragraph came from. I believe I stopped thinking right after I explained how I grade music. Anyway, Rammstein is one of the more superb bands that I've heard. The mood and emotion is carried flawlessly through the music. I've found a great deal of bands have a great deal of trouble portraying emotion in lyrics nowadays, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because a great deal of bands suck nowadays. From "nu-metal" to "emo" (commonly known as punk or pop-punk) to country, one will be hardpressed to find a song worth listening to more than once. There's a lot of great songs out there, but there even more that suck. I really don't know why that is. What confuses me even more is how people can listen to this tripe and call it good.

Which is why I like Rammstein. The music these guys make is something that is completely unique. What other band has a song whose literal translation is "You smell so good"? Only shitty metal bands from the deep South, but I'd prefer not to mention them as they aren't worth two shits in a handbasket. So aside from that, no one. Rammstein makes their music to be awesome, and they succeed at it. From the anger rampant throughout their debut album Herzeleid, to Sehnsucht, the album which is considered to be the most sexually deviant album the band has made, to Live aus Berlin, which is the live album in which 18 of their then 22 song catalogue was played in one concert, Rammstein proved that they were one of the premiere bands in the world.

Live aus Berlin is a live album way ahead of it's time. The album captures the band's performance perfectly. The aggression, the anger, the power, the excitement of the crowd, it's all there. Very rarely does an album of this magnitude and awesomeness come along. In fact, the only other one I can think of is Nine Inch Nails And All That Could Have Been. Rammstein is just one of those bands in which you can lose yourself in the music. One has to do it properly, however, so I'll list off the steps for you.

1)Get any Rammstein album.
2)Find the biggest, beefiest headphones you can.
3) Get a CD player in which the volume can be set to near unbearable heights.
4) Set the volume to a near unbearable height (ie. loud enough so that even with the headphones plugged in people can still hear the music in another room).
5)Sit back and listen.

That is the way to make your Rammstein experience an excellent one. Just be careful you don't destroy your eardrums.

Rarely will you see me do a review of a live album on this blog. That's how you know that the bastard is good, as I only listen to awesome music. Truth be told, I'm tired of shitty music and shittier live albums, both of which run rampant nowadays. A number of record executives need to be punched in the mouth for being such money-grabbing fools. So when I review an album on this blog, it will only be something that I feel is worth my time. Live aus Berlin is definitely worth my time.

Literally eveything I look for in a live album is here: power, energy, sound quality, and a lot of fucking songs. All too often now artists are releasing albums with too few tracks. Either that or the albums just plain aren't long enough. A number of artists I listen to (including Rammstein) have albums that barely reach the 1 hour mark. That's why long live albums such as this are always welcome. Again, it's like sex. At least for me. I don't like quickies. Now, a 45 minute album is a long quickie, I'll admit, but the fact remains that, like a quickie, it's over before you know what happened. Where's the fulfillment in that?

That's the last sexual reference I'll use in this review, I swear. Mainly because I have nothing else to say. Have the tracklisting.

1. Spiel Mit Mir

2. Herzeleid
3. Bestrafe Mich
4. Weisses Fleisch
5. Sehnsucht
6. Asche Zu Asche
7. Wilder Wein
8. Klavier
9. Heirate Mich
10. Du Reichst so gut
11. Du hast
12. Buck Dich
13. Engel
14. Rammstein
15. Tier
16. Laichzeit
17. Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?
18. Seeman

To 2007.

2007-01-03T05:28:00.000-05:00

It was a year and 3 days ago that I switched from freewebs.com and impregnated the Internet with this blog, aptly named (Insert). Quite a bit has happened in the past year, some of it quite good, some of it quite bad, and some of it that almost had me committing myself to the hospital for fear of the safety of others.

2006 was not the best year I've experienced. A relationship that was strained past the breaking point that finally ended in April, affecting my mind in ways that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy was the biggest part of it. Most of my other problems stemmed from that one thing, including my newfound inability to keep my trap shut for two seconds about how miserable I was, and straining my friendships with my stupidity. These things, coupled with having my life threatened behind my back because of one who I trusted and cared for, only for me to be both lied to and about, made for a very unpleasant time, especially during the summer. I've only recently gotten my mental balance restored and my mouth closed. A broken hand and a very large telling off did that for me.

I've spent a great majority of this year with a lot of that shit on my back and mind. I'm too tired for any of that bullshit now. I'm not going looking for a relationship, but I'm not denying one if it comes along as long as it's something that I think can actually go somewhere without ending badly. That's unpredicatable, I know, but the point still stands. I'm also not going to be dragged along like a dog on a leash hoping to get a treat for my loyal behaviour. I've done that before, and hated myself the entire time. Fuck that noise.
I'm going to keep my trap shut. My friendships are more important to me than some trivial problems of my own.
Lastly, if someone wishes to threaten my life and safety or that of my friends, five words to them: Bring it the fuck on. You'll have no idea what you're getting yourself into. The most you can do is be forward with it and say it to my face. At least then you might have a chance of winning. This is no Mr. Internet Tough Guy facade. I've had my life and my friend's lives threatened before, and it will not happen again without hell to pay.

Here's to 2007. May you all find happiness in your lives. I hope you all realize that life is too awesome to spend dwelling on shit that does not need dwelling (ie. everything). I wish I'd realized that one 8 months ago. Thank you to those who've stood by me over the past year in spite of eveything. To every one of you beautiful people, have the best fucking year you can henceforth. Don't go down, and if you do, you get your ass right back up again. Get your lives filled to the brim with awesome. Peace.

H.I.M.)*(Deep Shadows And Brilliant Highlights

2007-01-02T07:35:00.001-05:00

This is quite similar to Azreal's "Best Albums of 2006" thing at Music At Knife Point, save for the fact that this doesn't have to have been released in 2006. From here on in I'm going to attempt one album review per week. I thought I'd kick it off with Deep Shadows And Brilliant Highlights.

I'm not going to go on a rant of how badass the album is this time. To be quite frank, it isn't. It deals with too many emotions other than anger or frustration to be considered merely badass. And I do not joke about something being "more than merely badass", so you can count on this being one fuck of a good album.

With the opening song Salt In Our Wounds, in which you'll caught quite offguard by the catchiness of the song and the energy driving (something that carries into most of the songs on this album), the bar for the rest of the album is set pretty goddamn high. Though not my top favourite song on the album, it's definitely a good one and well-worth the listen. Although, do you think I'd put anything that wasn't worth a listen on here? Didn't fucking think so.

Heartache Every Moment, I won't lie, was my favourite song over the summer. I was going through quite a miserable time, and much of the blame for this has to go to my own stupidity. Let's just say that mental solitude, coupled with an evergrowing rage that's fueled by being surrounded by morons all day every day for 9 hours each day leads to depression, and depression leads to doing stupid shit. Luckily I'm smart enough not to do stupid shit (at least I was until I broke my hand a month ago). I also had friends there, and when they weren't there, I had music. It's surprising just how much miserable music helps you go through a depression.

I was also doing the same with In Joy And Sorrow. A much softer song than those mentioned previously mentioned, but still just as good (certainly surpassing the bar set by Salt In Our Wounds) this song is very nice to listen and sing along to when you've got the realtionship (or in my case, lack thereof) blues.

Now we come to Pretending. A song I initially didn't like much at first, I must say it's grown on me. I find it quite similar to Salt In Our Wounds in quite a few aspects, such as energy level, catchiness, awesomeness, etc. Not one that I sang to myself like Heartache (actually, during a great majority of the summer I didn't know the lyrics to Pretending save for the chorus), but nonetheless still a song I enjoy listening to.

A few more tracks and we've arrived at Please Don't Let It Go. This song, I find, is quite similar to In Joy And Sorrow. This is definitely one of my favourite songs on the album. However, since I've been up for about 19 hours now and can't think of a damn thing more to add onto that, I'll cut it off there.

Beautiful. Again, not one of my favourites, but still a damn good one. I tend to like music that I can identify with more, which leads me into In Love And Lonely. Actually, I think that's enough said on those two. I really have nothing to add.

Don't Close Your Heart. Another favourite. I can honestly say that I love this fucking song. Enough said.

The last track, Love You Like I Do. Easily the softest song the album, it is also a great finishing track. I'm going to take a quote from Marilyn Manson and apply it to singer Ville Valo when I say that "in this song, black panties everywhere will moisten" at the sound of his voice. That aside, this song is a finish that is so perfect you can taste it. This song is very dark as well. Not only in sound, but also in lyrics.

Tracklisting:
1. Salt In Our Wounds
2. Heartache Every Moment
3. Lose You Tonight
4. In Joy And Sorrow
5. Pretending
6. Close To The Flame
7. You Are The One
8. Please Dont Let It Go
9. Beautiful
10. In Love And Lonely
11. Don't Close Your Heart
12. Love You Like I Do

Tumult - Stone Sour

2006-12-02T02:34:00.000-05:00

God damn you

Haven't let you in 'cause I'm in you
Haven't let you in 'cause I'm in you
Must've been a bitch
Must've been a pain
Take me off the innocent
Put me in your vein

It's improbable, yeah it's improbable

Haven't said a word 'cause you're still on
Haven't said a word 'cause you're still on
Mustn't take offence
Mustn't take a bow
Used to be a derelict
Now I have to live with it

It's improbable, yeah it's improbable
You came back but I know better, boy

Trip my light fantastic,
Rub me in your wound
'Cause I'm not broken, I'm not plastic
I'm no whore
Used against me use me up again

It's improbable, yeah it's improbable
You came back but I know better boy

Got no time to time to time (once again)

You don't want me
You don't need me

Click here to listen to 'Tumult'
Click here to listen to 'Tumult (1996 Demo)'

Musical Criticism: How Not to Do It.

2006-11-30T22:20:00.000-05:00

One thing that always gets to me nowadays is when people say "I hate ." Let me explain something to you... No you don't. You've heard songs that you don't like that are in that genre of music. You cannot judge an entire genre of music based on your opinions of a few songs. Am I saying go out and listen to every country song ever recorded? No. I'm saying keep an open mind and don't judge an entire genre based off a song that you don't like.

It would be like me hating all metal just because I don't like Cannibal Corpse (who are terrible, by the way. Don't ever listen to them. Their strongest bout of fame was back when they were in the first Ace Ventura movie.). Do I hate all metal? Not a fucking chance. I just hate Cannibal Corpse in this case, and I can say that because I've heard more than enough of them to say that they do, in fact, suck in my opinion and have no urge to listen to any more. But they aren't an entire genre, are they?

I remember when I used to criticize entire genres of music because I'd only heard a few songs and I thought that they sucked. Then I realized I was talking out of my ass. There are bad songs in any given genre of music. It's absolutely unavoidable. But to judge the entire genre based off this is insanely close-minded. I love it when I meet metalheads who claim that metal is the only real genre of music that is good and worth listening to. It's actually really fun to shut these people down and make them realize that they aren't as open-minded as they think.

The ridiculousness of saying "Country sucks" or "Rap sucks" is something that actually makes me feel dumber when I hear it. I shit you not. I have the feeling that I'm going to hear that one of these days and find myself walking into a wall. Then I'll snap out of it and punch whoever said it for making me walk into a wall.

The music you've heard from this genre sucks, asshole, not the entire genre. It's funny when I hear this, because then they'll mention an exception or two that they do like. So I guess it doesn't suck does it? Now maybe if you weren't such a close-minded hypocrite you would realize that.

Have you ever heard someone say "I like all music" and then add afterwards "except rap, country, screamo, etc."? So, you don't like all music? If you really liked all music then I could throw on, say, 'It Can't Happen To Me' by Charlie Major (great Canadian country singer, by the way) and you would like it.

The point is, don't criticize an entire genre because you've only heard a few songs. You know absolutely nothing about music if you do this, and have no right to claim that you do.

On "Selling Out".

2006-11-29T01:05:00.000-05:00

This is a topic of great interest, and ultimately, one that pisses me off a lot at the same time.. People claiming that certain bands have sold out after having judged new material. This confuses me quite a bit. It seems that when a band changes their musical style in order to not repeat themselves time and time again, they've "sold out". Apparently musical evolution is a bad thing.

I suppose it can be a bad thing... if you're a moron, that is. This is something that irritates me quite a bit. I suppose I'm just biased because I like it when a band progresses in their musical style. You know, whena band develops more ways to make an awesome tune that's great to listen and sing along to. But that might be just me.
I know I've probably mentioned it in a previous writing, and certainly in conversations with people, but a common example of this is Slipknot's departure from their "original" sound heard on the Self-titled album and Iowa, that was replaced with the newer sound of Vol. 3 (The Subliminal Verses). This is a subject that always manages to piss me off. Here is a band trying to develop and improve their style of music, while still managing to keep their originality. Yet somehow, this constitues as "selling out".

The reason for this, I'm told, is that "they aren't Slipknot anymore". This confuses me, as I'm told this by former fans of the band. I'm just going to assume that these people actually have never listened to the music that they claim to like, and are only jumping onto the bandwagon. This isn't the case with me, I'm proud to say. I've listened, quite literally, to everything Slipknot has released. I've found that, yes, their sound changed drastically, but between each album, not just from Iowa to The Subliminal Verses. It's just more noticable on their latest offering because, as stated by those who don't like the album, "there's almost no swearing".

Boo fucking hoo. There's your swearing, you shallow moron. You're trying to tell me that because there is so little swearing, you don't like them anymore. Jackass. That just proves that you're only trying to be edgy with music, rather than actually enjoying it, and talking with your head all the way up your ass. Right up to the neck. Face it, bands evolve. They need to. If they don't then they get old and then you'll be bitching about how they're just playing the same damn thing over and over again.

Then it's "Well, they're just trying to get more fans." And? I see no problem with that. A band needs new fans to keep going otherwise they die. You can apply this same logic to a band just starting out. Say this band is brand new, and nobody likes them. At all. As in, they're booed from the stage almost every show. Now, are you just going to keep playing the same shit that no one likes and hope that eventually it catches on? If you're smart, then no. You're going to try to change to a style that people like. You're not compromising the music, you're just making a sound that people enjoy so that your band doesn't die. But apparently that's selling out.

"Well that's different. Slipknot is already famous." No, it's no different and you're an idiot for thinking so. Every band needs to change somehow. Slipknot did it in a very noticable way, with two acoustic songs and no swearing on Subliminal Verses, as opposed to Iowa's "Disasterpiece" which started out with the lyrics "I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound". Now, I'm as big a fan of profanity as the next asshole, but shit like that gets boring. Now, if you want to keep hearing songs like that, then just keep listening to that one album and stop your bitching. Some of us would like a change.

If you think you can argue with me on Slipknot's change, then I would like you to listen to the following tracks, and then shut your trap, because you have nothing.

Click here to listen to 'Some Feel'
The title on putfile is incorrect, as I accidentally labeled the song wrong. The title of this song is not "Do Nothing/Bitchslap" as putfile might have you believe, but rather, "Some Feel".

Click here to listen to 'Eyeless'

Click here to listen to 'Disasterpiece'

Click here to listen to 'Three Nil'

These are 4 songs from 4 different albums. Note the differences in each. Then shut up, because chances are you'll just come up with some bullshit excuse to think Slipknot are the sellouts they aren't. If the definition of "selling out" is so clearly defined to you, then any band that gets a record deal has officially sold out. In fact, any band that gets radio airplay has sold out. Face it, if you have a band that gets recognition, you've sold out and have no right to bitch.

All of your favourite artists have sold out. Either stop complaining about it, or just shut up altogether. Either way, I win.

Fairly uplifting.

2006-11-24T02:04:00.000-05:00

I started teaching my own martial arts class a few weeks ago, and I just recently learned that some of the students actually are enjoying it. I'm a hard teacher, I don't put up with any bullshit, but I'm not mean. I'm more of a hardass than mean, I think.

Anyway, I figure that's something pretty awesome.

Now for something a little different...

Click here to listen to 'LA Headspace'

This isn't actually singing. It's the solo project of the Slipknot DJ Sid Wilson (#0), aka DJ Starscream. His stuff is pretty badass, and this isn't coming from some little Slipknot nancy fanboy, despite the fact that they are my favourite band. This stuff is actually really badass. I highly recommend giving it a listen.

ILY (part 2)

2006-11-22T19:28:00.000-05:00

http://insertit.blogspot.com/2006/10/ily.html

Spell it the fuck out, seriously. You disgust me.

Boring filler.

2006-11-15T21:14:00.000-05:00

I hate boring conversation filler over MSN. I'm terrible at keeping conversations going over MSN, so I usually have to resort to this unless there's a topic that I'm actually having a discussion on. Otherwise the conversation usually dies and the person goes offline. I fucking hate it. It's ridiculous. It's worse than those damn awkward silences.

Bah!

2006-11-15T19:40:00.000-05:00

This seems to be the only word fitting to my current mood. This is out of frustration and boredom, as there is quite literally nothing to do in this fucking town. At least not if you're as socially inept as myself. I'm the kind of guy who can just go and sit in a coffee shop for hours on end and not get bored, yet when it comes to going out and meeting people (much less talking to them), I'm fucked. Unfortunately, save for Tim Horton's, all of the coffee shops in Owen Sound close are closed after 6, some earlier than that.
Timmy Ho's is fine and all, but I've been there way too much in the past year. It actually is strating to get boring for me, mainly because every time I'm there, it's always re-runs. If I'm there by myself, I sit and try to write. If I'm there with friends, we sit and vitch about how there is nothing to do in this town. Occasionally one of will up and say "Let's go somewhere" but do to indeciseiveness it's the rare event that we do, in fact, go somewhere. Usually, one of my group will leave, and then the rest will follow suit after an indeterminate amount of time, usually after more bitching about how boring this town is.
I've recently discovered an escape from my boredom. Not really. I play Diablo II for an hour or so, then I sleep for a bit, and then I'm as bored as ever. I've tried using the game as an escape, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I would much rather be out with friends then inside playing a fucking game. I stopped doing that shit 4 years ago, no need to pick up the habit again.
We need more god damn coffee shops in this town. We need more places where people like me can just go and jam with each other. We need an all-night coffee shop that isn't Tim Horton's, where people can bring their musical instruments and just have a good time.
We do have a few places like that, actually. Unfortunately we're only allowed to jam in one once a month, and the rest I'm only eighteen and thus have no hopes of getting in.

None of this is due to the people I hang with. God knows I love them to death. We just need something new and fresh in this town. I could really dig an all-night coffee house with a good atmosphere in which people can just hang and jam and all that jazz. Timmy's doesn't do it for me anymore, nor does it do it for the majority of my friends. We need something god damn new. Can you dig it?

Click here to listen to 'Head Like a Hole'

This is the one song I feel fits what I'm talking about.

In reference to my previous post...

2006-11-09T22:49:00.000-05:00

I believe another "Fuck you" is required. I just got back from my first live performance at a coffeehouse. Now, I know it's no stage, but it's still pretty fucking cool. Granted, I had no band backing me, so I had to follow along to the music of a CD. And you know what? I didn't get thrown out on my ass when I did it. I didn't even get told to shut up. I'm not gloating right now. I'm just saying that the next time someone tells me to shut up when I'm practicing screaming on the day of a performance, the next thing that happens is gonna be me screaming a whole lot fucking louder. In their face.

Next, it's on to actual singing. I'm looking forward to that immense load of badassery.

A conversation between Michael and I

2006-11-06T03:22:00.000-05:00

NewBoy - Thank you for making me feel like I'm guilty; you're makin' it easy to murder your sweet memory. says:
Wooo! I love ratns

NewBoy - Thank you for making me feel like I'm guilty; you're makin' it easy to murder your sweet memory. says:
rants too

Ben says:
Ratns are good

NewBoy - Thank you for making me feel like I'm guilty; you're makin' it easy to murder your sweet memory. says:
I saw a badass ratns the other day

NewBoy - Thank you for making me feel like I'm guilty; you're makin' it easy to murder your sweet memory. says:
It was eating a rabbit

Ben says:
Oh man, I saw one hop onto the windshiel of a car. It started screaming and flailing at the guy. He drove off the side of the road into a house. No one was hurt, but it was pretty funny

Ben says:
*shield

World of Warcraft? Great game, or detriment to humanity's progression as a species?

2006-11-05T21:39:00.000-05:00

FAIR WARNING:
This, as you may or may not be able to tell, is an objective analysis, meaning you're going to sit the fuck back and read this or go somewhere else.

I still have yet to understand just what people's fascination with the game World of Warcraft is all about. I myself am actually confused, and thus angered by this. I like a good video game as much as the next person, but this just scares me. The sheer number of players who have bought into this shit is enough to scare me, and then, with all of the zeal and jackassery of a Slipknot fan at a Mushroomhead concert who's just been confronted about their band of choice, many players of this game are constantly spouting off on how great the game is, you can't disagree because you're a fag and saying what they think are witty quotes when, in actuality, they're signing their own death certificate. Cause of Death: Pissing Ben off with shitty quotes from a stupid game.

Now, I don't like saying my tastes are better than other people's, because, get this, they're not. But I also don't spend my day obsessing over anything, save for music. And at least with music you can multi-task. The only multi-tasking you can do with World of Warcraft (so I'm told) is jerking off to some Elf chick. No thanks. With my music, I can go for a nice long walk, take one headphone out so I can talk with friends, and once I've bought an album, I don't have to keep paying for it.

That's another thing that irks me about this game: once you've bought it, you keep paying. Why the fuck would you do this? It doesn't fucking matter if it's only $30 for two months, the point is you already bought the fucking thing. Payment should stop the minute the cashier closes the till. Honestly, how can you live with yourselves? You're slaves to this fucking thing, and you don't even fight it. You just blindly accept it and keep on paying so you can win the ePenis Length contest by getting your character from Level 17 to Level 20 within a day. Wow, you did it! You proved that you have way to much time on your hands! Would you like a fucking medal? Too bad.

Another thing that gets to me about this: Guilds. I've seen people actually tell me they have to be back at home at a specific time. I figure "Okay, they have plans with their girlfriend or family, I can dig it." Unfortunately I think this before the words "because my guild is raiding blah-blah-blah." You have got to be fucking kidding me. You're letting this cut into your social life even more. It takes so much effort to get some of these people to come outside, and then when they do, they have a limited time to hang because they need to get back and play it. You are letting a fucking game control your life!

I am thoroughly sickened with this crap. Now, I used to be obsessed with a game. It was called Diablo II: Lord of Destruction. I only had to pay for it once, I played it only in minor excess, namely, when I wasn't hanging with friends. The most I ever played it in my life was when I had my wisdom teeth out, and that was because I couldn't go outside to hang out with my friends. I never compromised my social life to play it. Friends are far too fucking valuable to me to say "Hey, I'm gonna stay in tonight and play my game!"

Crap like this is only a detriment to our progression as a species. Now, one might say "Everyone is or has been obsessed with one video game or another at some point in their life!" Not true. People who don't have computers and/or TV's, or just a system that will play games have never been obsessed with games. People who've never played them have never been obsessed. Shut up.
"Then you might as well say all video games are a detriment to our progression as a species." Okay, I say it. Video games are a detriment to humanity's progression as a species. So the same logic can be applied to any video game. Good argument, asshole. That still doesn't change the fact that World of Warcraft is fucking stupid, and everything about it fucking stupid. Shut up.

Now, you all might be thinking "Hey, he's writing a blog about this! That must mean he has no life, too!" I beg to differ. I go outside, I actually hang out with my friends, and I go to school. I'm currently looking for a job so that I can continue on into post-secondary education so I don't have to stay in my shit-hole town playing (while paying for) a stupid game for the rest of my life. I'm writing this because it's 10 at night right now, some of my friends are off playing that stupid game, and I'm currently trying to decide what there is to do in this shit-hole town with another friend of mine. I am fucking pissed.

Why even waste my breath?

2006-10-31T19:33:00.000-05:00

Seriously, for those people that I know who actually (used to) read this, why should I even bother? You've come to me for advice only to throw it away two seconds later, be it relationship, hanging out options or any fucking thing, thus making me waste my breath. Why? It's either this or you just plain don't talk to me, or sometimes both. Fuck. Give me one good fucking reason why I should even bother. Go ahead.

I answered honestly, too.

2006-10-30T05:19:00.000-05:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	3.7
Mind:	3
Body:	5.5
Spirit:	4.5
Friends/Family:	4.4
Love:	0.8
Finance:	1.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Can't help but feel a little discouraged...

Listen to it.

2006-10-29T17:53:00.000-05:00

Click here to listen to 'Orchids'.

On Apathy and Revenge.

2006-10-27T12:49:00.000-04:00

Fuck it. You think you're getting some sort of revenge on someone when you sit back and see them get beaten and bloodied? Think again. You're sucking from the cocks of Retardation and Idiocy, and you just got a facial. Nice try at vengeance, though. Letting someone else do all the work for you when you have a beef with someone. Pussies.

That's your idea of being tough? Sitting back and letting it happen, not jumping in on either side, or, God forbid, trying to stop this bullshit before it escalates into something insanely ugly? Nah, just stand back, let it happen. If someone doesn't stop it, then it'll just wear down. I'm a firm believer in karma, and I think I'm right when I say that if you ever walk your dumb ass in front of a truck, people are just gonna stand there and watch as you bleed to death in the middle of the road begging for help as if you deserve it, you apathetic cunt.

Fuck all of you who support this bullshit. If you don't like someone and want some petty revenge on them, don't be a little bitch and do it yourself. Or, if you really don't care one way or the other, then you should have no problem jumping in to stop it. Either way, don't stand around with your thumb up your ass. It's pathetic, disgusting and it makes me sick.

Gang beaters are no better. Pussies. Need 3 people to gang up on one person? Go choke. Seriously, just go fucking choke.

Listening to: Ticks and Leeches - Tool

ILY

2006-10-27T02:12:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed how more than one person in the world is using this “ily-insert first initial of loved one’s name”. You know, that stupid fucking abbreviation of “I love you”. I sure have, and it pisses me right the hell off. You think you have a right to say that when you are too lazy to write out the words and your apparent loved one’s name. Seriously, this is worse than “luv” or, even worse so, the ever-dreaded and forever disgusting “wuv”. Trust me, if you hear it, you'll know.

What makes you assholes think you even have the right to say that to someone? Honestly. I’ve seen the way some people who say this treat each other, and it horrifies me to think that this bullshit is their idea of what love is. What is wrong with you bastards? I’VE SEEN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BELCH IN EACH OTHER’S MOUTHS! LOVE? I HOPE YOU CHOKE!

Back to “ily-insert poor gullible fucker’s name”. Bullshit. I hate you. If you can’t take the time to write out the words, then don’t take time at all because we all know you aren’t sincere. At all. In fact, if you need to abbreviate those words, it’s fairly clear that you have absolutely no idea what love is, and thus have no right to even think the opposite.

I see people insult each other every day, and then turn around 20 seconds later and say “I love you.” Why? Because they feel bad. Nothing more. No actual sincerity, just words. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. You’re ruining the word for those of us who have more than a modicum of intelligence, sincerity and a soul.

Awesome.

2006-10-24T23:24:00.000-04:00

I absolutely love bad abdominal pains that happen for no fucking reason. Seriously, it's my main reason for living. Especially when it sours my mood so much that I get pissed off when I'm hanging out with friends, and get completely irritable and untalkative. Yeah, bloody fucking awesome.
It gets even better when the pain accelerates to an almost unbearable level when I take a piss, and I have to walk out of the washroom in doubled over in extreme pain.

I also love it when no one notices or pays attention until I actually mention it.

SCREEN NAMES ARE BULLSHIT.

2006-10-22T17:18:00.000-04:00

I am so fucking sick of these people that try to make them seem like they are the only people in the world who are depressed through the MSN names. Whatever happened to people who have awesome screen names, like ones that quote The Simpsons or Family Guy? I'll tell you: they all became pussies because they're the only people in the world's history TO EVER HAVE A PROBLEM. Quoting depressing song lyrics or Shakespeare does not make me want to talk to you. If you want to talk about your problems, then I will gladly talk to you, as long as you don't try to bring me down before the conversation even starts. It's simple as that. I don't care what kind of mood you're in. If you're in a good (or bad) mood, change it to just your name, or change it to something funny and uplifting.

I don't care how intelligent you feel when you quote Shakespeare or My Chemical Romance, it still doesn't change the fact that you're a dumbass who can't come up with something original. From now on, the only time Shakespeare should ever be quoted is if you are writing a thesis on Shakespeare, comparing Shakespeare to other playwrites, or you are in a Shakespeare play. If you spew out that "All the world's a stage" bullshit, I hope you choke. If all the world is a stage, who's the playwrite and why is he stealing material from Shakespeare for the sole purpose of pissing me off? I'm no actor and neither are you, so stop trying to create drama. The only thing you're doing is pissing me off.

The only pity or sympathy this kind of shit inspires in me is I feel bad for the writer of whoever wrote those words you're quoting. Poor bastards. Yes, I've done this exact same thing. Do I do it now? No, so fuck off, you have no argument.

Any of you motherfuckers who've been feeling depressed

2006-10-18T23:33:00.000-04:00

are about to have your faces rocked...ACOUSTICALLY! That's right, I've uploaded a song from the Finnish folk metal band Finntroll's acoustic album Visor Om Slutet entitled Under Varje Rot Och Sten.

Let me give you a bit of background on Finntroll. They're awesome. There. Listen to this fucking song, because you will be rocked in the crotch and the face really hard.

Click here to listen to 'Under-Varje-Rot-Och-Sten-81'

On parenting.

2006-10-15T18:03:00.000-04:00

I've recently experienced a rather disturbing event, something that haunts me to an extreme. I don't think that I've ever witnessed a little girl utter the word "fuck", much less as many times as this girl did. Now, call me old-fashioned, but I think that children should not be exposed to such language and obscenities as this until a suitable age, such as 10 to 13. They should not be saying it at the age of 5, and certainly should not be saying it to the extent which I heard directed at myself.

This is an exerpt of the conversation:

Little Girl 1: Hey fucker, what's wrong with you?!

Me: *blank stare*

Little Girl 1: You heard me fucker!

Me: *blank stare*

Does any of this seem wrong? I'm pretty sure I'm correct when I say that the parents should be beaten with a crowbar repeatedly, and then forced to give up their children to someone who is n't (and this is just speculation now) a fat drunk whore who lives in a shitty apartment with her worthless, deadbeat, drunken stoner husband and lets their children walk around alone and unsupervised cursing at complete strangers. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm right.

I seriously hope that I'll be a better parent than to raise my children like this.

The time has come for another rock blog.

2006-10-04T12:21:00.000-04:00

Not right now, though.

Steve Irwin ripped into by PETA

2006-09-25T22:41:00.000-04:00

http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_27268306.shtml

Okay, now we all know I've never been one for holding on back my opinions. But even I have respect for the dead. Two members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) have recently come forward ripping on the recently deceased Steve Irwin. I know I'm not the only one who sees something wrong with this. These people are claiming that Irwin was a "cheap reality TV star". He had an educational TV program for children. His methods were quite unorthodox, but he never put animals in any harm. If you try to claim that he exploited animals to get his fame, well, you're doing the same thing. That and you're insulting a dead man PUBLICLY. Go kill yourself.

These people had the audacity to insult him for being a "millionaire animal-loving zoo-owner". Big crime. He was more famous than you, get over it you fucking slag. He was a dedicated conservationist and animal lover who started his own zoo so he could take in animals, and you lambast him for it. Real tough you fucking cowards. Insulting a dead man. Go face his wife and say that shit to her. I guarantee you that will not only get a lawsuit for slander and libel, you will have your balls ripped off as well. That is if you aren't killed by the mass of people offended by your bullshit statements first.

People like this are the reason why I have little faith in anything except what I deem worthy. These people don't even deserve the air they breathe, which is why the thought of anyone having any faith in them ever confuses and disturbs me to the point of wanting to headbutt a nail in a floorboard.

Tool.

2006-09-22T13:06:00.000-04:00

Today is my eighteenth birthday. Tomorrow is more special to me than this. Why? Because I'm going to see Tool in concert, that's fucking well why. I'm now of legal age to buy the nastiest porn you could imagine, and I've got my mind on something that is much more satisfying than masturbation to some photoshopped slut. Heheh.

Fucking porn. I hate that shit. Fucking stupid. Tool kicks so much ass. If all goes well, I should say, I'll be seeing them. I really hope Oleg got those tickets...

The Event Horizon

2006-08-18T03:24:00.000-04:00

I've come up with a band name that I want to have. It's a satirical tribute to The Mars Volta (referred to as TMV by pretentious indie-kids, who are the main inspiration of this satire) and a loving tribute to one of my favourite movies. You guessed it. Event Horizon.

The name of this band shall be "The Event Horizon", the abreviation of which I will let you figure out on your own. Just know: these are the things I think about when I pee.

This is hereby copyrighted to me, myself and I. Even if this musical idea never comes to fruition, the idea is still mine.

...Christ, I need a band.

My music can beat up your music.

2006-08-18T03:19:00.000-04:00

All right, you arrogant little shits, here’s how it goes. I don’t give a fuck what bands you like, how long you’ve been listening to them, or any of that shit. Nothing gives you the right to criticize others for their taste in music, so you can go eat a fucking knife. Just because you happened to like a band before someone else does not mean that that other person is a poser or is just trying to imitate you. Who knows, maybe they actually like the band. More often than not that’s the case. And yet they must be posers because they’re just hopping onto the bandwagon (no pun intended) after you have, right? Bullshit. It’s nothing but pure fucking arrogance.

I’m so sick of this bullshit about people competing with each other through the music they claim to enjoy. If you enjoy it so much, why don’t you keep your mouth shut and fucking listen to it? Do you actually think people want to hear your opinion on their musical taste? “Hey, you like AFI! I’m gonna make you my verbal punching bag, because I listen to awesome music such as Slipknot and Dimmu Borgir. This is a fact because I say so.” Here’s my opinion, asshole: Dimmu Borgir sucks. Finntroll rules all over their pathetic wannabe-Goth faces. But that’s just my opinion, you can listen to whatever the fuck kind of crap you want.

It’s a classic case of “My dad can beat up your dad!” You make me fucking sick. Another fatal element of Chronic Dipshittery – me putting my foot so far up your ass that it crushes your lungs because you’re so much of a pretentious dumbass that you don’t know when to shut your fucking mouth. Guess what? Just because you think that your music is better than mine doesn’t mean I won’t hesitate to break your headphones when you say it to me. Can’t say your music is better than mine now if you don’t have any, can you asshole? I win.

Listen you assholes; people listen to the music that they do because they like it. Some are jumping on the bandwagon initially because the band is popular and they want to get in on the fad, but some do start to actually like it. Those that don’t like it and are just staying on there so they can annoy the rest of us aren’t even worth the time (my time or yours) to criticize. However, you people that actually criticize others for liking a particular style of music really need to take a look at your life. If the worst thing you can find about someone is that they listen to a particular style of music that you don’t happen to like, who’s more pathetic? Fuck off.

And you jerks that claim to like a band, claim to be huge fans yet you’ve never listened to anything by them other than that edited song you heard on the radio or have only known about their newest album; bite my fucking bag. If you didn’t know that the band had more albums prior than you are not a fan of said band. It makes you a casual listener, if that. And if you don’t even know the title of your favourite album, you honestly need to shut the fuck up. I’m taking a quote from someone interviewed on what her favourite AFI album was, only slightly edited, and only just to get my point across.

“Dur, my favourite album is Sing of the Sorrow. I’m a retarded dipshit who doesn’t deserve to be near AFI and whose seat should be saved for a 17 year-old longhair who is an actual fan of this band and who knows the title of his favourite album.”

I’m insulted by you fucking morons; both those of you who criticize others for their taste and those who say that someone isn’t a “true fan” just because they didn’t listen to AFI when they first became famous. Honestly, how can you be so stupid? Do you not have better things to waste your breath on?

I’m a hypocrite in this sometimes, I’ll admit it. But I’ve decided that, since I don’t want to have to kick my own ass, because I know I’ll own myself, I’ll stop. I suggest everyone else does, too. I really don’t need assault and battery charges laid against me, and I’d prefer not to waste my time on something like this.

New, but not really.

2006-08-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

It's now been well over a month since my last post... well, that's all I have in that part of things. Sorry.

Anyway, lots of shit's been happening. I got a job at Home Depot as a Lot Associate, otherwise known as cart jockey, otherwise known as The Store Bitch. I fetch people's special order shit,
load cars for dumbasses and sometimes intelligent people. I also push carts in 40 degree weather in a parking lot in the open sunlight. There's that.

I have very little money left from my recent paychecks, due to my mindless self indulgence. I like my music, I like my movies I like my food, and I like buying my friends food. Fuck off, don't judge me.

I can't help but feel that I've been alienating my friends from me recently. I've been quite miserable as of late and it's been showing through a lot. I'm trying to fix it, to stop screwing up and ruining people's moods. It's hard when I've been unhappy, but I think I'm getting better. I'm trying so fucking hard, and I think it's starting to pay off. Doesn't change the fact that I'm still lonely as hell. I'd say it's a good thing I'm not one of those shallow fuckers only interested in getting myself laid. This sounds lame and corny as anything, but all I want is someone to hold, have in my arms, lie beside, stay up with, fall asleep with, wake up to. Someone who feels about this the way I do.

Enough of that mush.

I've been writing more than usual lately. I started and actually finished a song last week, and got a start on two others that same night. I just need to get back into the mood to finish them I was at a coffee house performance, so that contributed to the mood a lot. Need more coffee houses. Now.

Reroute to Remain

2006-06-29T20:29:00.000-04:00

This has been a long time coming. I've neglected posting this for 2 months. I think it's time now.

Another rock blog. It's been a long time since I've done one, and as usual, the circumstances are none too happy. I'm sorry for this.

Kat and I, after having been together for 7 months, ended our relationship on Sunday, April 30th. It was a mutual breakup, both of us deciding that we should be friends. The pain of this decision is all too real. We spent 7 months together, through good times and bad, laughing, talking, crying, listening to music, and sitting in silence. I've been looking back on the time we spent together as friends and as lovers, and I can't help but hurt. I know I'm not alone, and that makes it hurt so much more.

All I can do is wait for it to pass. I know it will eventually, it just takes time. In the meantime, we have to sit together remembering what was and not knowing what will be. I know that I will always be her friend, that I'll be there for her when she needs me, and I know that she will do the same. I know that we'll always be in each other's hearts, and I know that the tears we shed for each other now will eventually pass and that the stains from those tears will eventually wash out.

I don't presume to actually know what will happen in the future, though. It frightens me, but is somewhat relieving as well. That's what makes the future worth waiting for, you don't know what will happen.

I love her. I know I do, and I won't pretend like this is simply puppy love. It's not, and any implication that it is so is insulting. I love her as my friend, and as my lover. I'm not angry that we aren't together now. I never could be. I feel terrible, I'm hurt, I'm crying, but I'm not angry. I'm afraid of what the future may hold. But I'll have my friend beside me, and that's more than I could ever ask for. The best part is I know I don't have to ask.

I'm not going to pretend as if this is the end of the line for us. We have our whole lives ahead of us. Who knows what could happen? We have our friendship, and we have our love for each other. What more could one ask for other than a friend? I'm going to miss what we had, but I'm going to wait patiently for what we'll have, and may still have yet. I love you, Kathryn, and I always will. Nothing can ever change that. Don't ever doubt it.

From green to red our days pass by, waiting for a sign to tell us why are we dancing all alone. Collect some stars to shine for you and start today because there's only a few, a sign of times my friend.

Trigger

2006-06-22T15:05:00.000-04:00

Why do you even have to ask that question? You asked that question to everyone in public, and you knew I was going to answer, and you knew what the answer would be. You already know the answer. It's in my eyes everyday, every time I see you, and you know it. It hasn't changed a bit, and you know it. So why do you ask? Do you need reassurance? For what? You know I haven't changed at all. You know my feelings haven't gone away at all. In all likelihood, they won't. I still don't know how you feel though, because you won't talk to me about it. So I'm left in the dark to wonder and drive myself crazy.

I'm not angry. I don't know what I am. I just miss you, every day and every night. There's nothing I can do about it, and even if there was I probably wouldn't. I just miss you. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

On forum fights.

2006-05-10T20:50:00.000-04:00

Oh, boo fucking hoo. You said something stupid in a stupid thread and I called you out on it. No need to further embarass yourself by dragging it out. Honestly, you should learn to just not argue with me unless you can back yourself up. There's two things you need when getting into an argument with me: 1) a topic to debate about. 2)You to not cry when I spank your ass.

How many times have I fucking destroyed you idiots, and you still keep coming back for more? Why don't you learn? I guess the whole theory of conditioning is incorrect after all. After you experience something a certain number of times, say like putting your hand on a hot stove, after a while you start to learn that this is a very stupid idea. This is very similar to an argument with me, and yet you morons continue to embarass yourselves. And when you finally realize that your entire argument has been decimated, you decide to go back on everything you've said and say "Oh, I didn't mean it like that." Yes you did, and I destroyed you, so shut up.

Learn to actually argue before you even think of getting into an argument with me. Seriously, damn. It's not even satisfactory. It's like saying you gangbeat a retarded child. Fuck.

Vicarious

2006-05-04T16:25:00.000-04:00

The first song from 10, 000 Days, this could easily be descrivbed as one of the best songs off of the album. Driving bass and guitar, pounding drums and the haunting voice of Maynard James Keenan, this song hammers its message into you like a nail into a hunk of wood. The song describes how society vicariously experiences life through TV, how we gorge ourselves on the flickering images of suffering and death, and how we can't admit it.

"I need to watch things die from a good safe distance,
Vicariously I live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we just admit it?"

This song kicks ass. It drives into you and just keeps going. Clocking in at over 7 minutes long, that's a lot of driving. Once again, Tool has proven that they're able to insult the world and get away with it. Their social commentary is, as always, well thought out and subtly obvious in conveying its message.

I like baths.

2006-05-03T23:09:00.000-04:00

Unless I'm mistaken, I am the very first person to write about how they cleansed themselves with the aid of 10, 000 Days. Yes, you're correct: I bathed listening to Tool's new album. And guess what? I enjoyed it. Alas! I did not get through the entire album in the bathtub, as the water became quite chilly after the first 7 songs.

What I did during track 8 is my business and mine alone. Suffice to say, I think I'm the only person who's writing about how they've done that while listening to 10, 000 Days as well. Interestingly enough, it's one of my favourite songs off of the album...

During tracks 9 and 10, I removed my facial hair with the aid of a blade. Now that I won't have to shave for another 6 or so hours, I won't shave for about, oh, 16 or 17 hours. It'll hurt to the touch in the morning if all goes as planned. Then I won't have people making the mistake touching my face unless I give them permission, and I rarely give that. Usually I shy away... Really, only one person is allowed to touch my face without my spoken permission anyways, so the rest of you can bugger off.

True, I did not complete the album while doing my various duties. I actually still have yet to listen to the final track of the album in its entirety. I'm saving that for the review.

I think it's safe to say that I win in this aspect. In other aspects of life one could differ, but don't take this one away from me unless you've got a damn good reason and proof to back it up. You'll get your first review of the album itself tomorrow. Good fucking night.

By the way, I'm not drunk, no matter what you may think. I just really like baths.

10, 000 Days in 12

2006-05-03T17:36:00.000-04:00

I will be doing a review of the recently released album by Tool, 10, 000 Days. This will be done of the course of twelve days, where I will review the entire album.

Regardless if you're a fan of the band so that you can write about how awesome they are, you absolutely hate the band and grab every chance you can to lambast them (though who would do such a thing I have no idea), or you just like listening to some good tunes, the album you've been waiting for is here. Tool, following up to 2001's Lateralus after a 4 year hiatus, has released their long-awaited album 10, 000 Days.

Before I write my review of the album itself (in which I'll be giving my commentary on each song as I listen to it), I'll first go into the artwork. This is like nothing you've ever seen before (unless you actually purchased the Ænima album, in which case you won't be entirely surprised). The first thing to catch your attention when you first spot this album is the pair of eyes staring back at you. You will soon discover that they are actually a pair of sterescopic lenses provided by Tool.

If you are indeed curious as to what exactly their point is, as you damn well should be, then take a peek through them. Flip through the pages of the album's artwork. You will notice strange, wonderful, and ultimately creepy sights as you gaze through the looking glasses. Be warned, however: just because the artwork is fucking incredible does not mean that you won't wind up with a bitch of a headache.

Fuck this.

2006-04-23T14:42:00.000-04:00

All you do is complain about how much I like to show off, how I like to make an example of myself. Has it ever even fucking occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, I'm not showing off? By what logic does sitting on a table count as showing off in a room full of yelling students spinning on chairs? Yeah, real showoff, right? It can't be because I want to get out of the way of the paper balls and words being thrown around the room, to give myself some peace of thought.

Or maybe it's because I put on some Johnny Cash to spite some fucking bitch in the poolhall. It couldn't possibly be because myself and everyone else there likes Johnny Cash except for her, and everyone was saying "Hey! Put on Johnny Cash!". Again, I must be showing off.

So who am I showing off to? You must know, because it seems to be so fucking obvious that I do everything I do for attention and nothing more. It can't be because I actually feel like doing it, rather than for attention. Fuck.

I had to write this.

2006-04-22T18:06:00.000-04:00

I remember that night like it was yesterday. We were just standing at her doorway, holding each other, occasionally talking about random junk that popped into our heads, but mostly just holding each other. I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want to say goodbye. I didn’t want to take my arms off of her. I didn’t know how to say it, but I knew I had to.

We just stood there. Occasionally I would look at her and smile, and we would kiss. Anytime we talked it was in hushed whispers. We didn’t want to wake her parents. That would have been pretty upsetting for them. So we were quiet.

Our talking was about nothing really particular, just trying to fill in the silences punctuated by the creaks of a house settling. Our being in each other’s arms was what meant the most. Neither of us wanted to let go. It was nearly impossible for me to say it. Paranoia had struck me, and I thought that if I said it she would just be silent. I was terrified.

So we stood there whispering, kissing, and hugging. Anytime I let go of her to go towards the door, I would just turn around and go back to her. I had to tell her. We’d been standing there for a long time, myself coming close to saying it a hundred times over, yet not being able to pluck up the courage.

So I finally said it. I told her I loved her. Her reaction was not what my paranoia had led me to believe. She smiled and told me that she loved me. We kissed again. She asked me if I meant it, truly meant it. Those words are not cheap with me. I only say them if I mean it. So I told her exactly that. We stood there for a little while longer before I was finally able to let her go.

We said good night, and I headed on my way home, happier than I’d ever been in my life. I thought that the feelings we had between us would never be shared by anyone else.

I don't know what to do.

2006-04-20T06:40:00.000-04:00

At the time of this writing I've been awake for 4 hours. While I've watched every minute of it, never taking my eyes off the clock, it still seemed to flow by like river rapids. I might post in this later today. I have no idea.

2006-04-16T12:06:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I've ever been as angry as I am at this moment. Some sick fucker in Oklahoma murdered a 10 year old girl. A little girl coming home from the fucking library. Words cannot describe what I'm feeling at this point. I'm beyond angry. I didn't know the girl and thanks to this motherfucker, no one ever will again. He mutilated her. He had her in his fucking closet. He lied to the police up until the point they caught him with his dick in the toaster (figuratively). Hopefully they turn it on, because this son of a bitch will never get what's coming to him soon enough and he'll never truly get what he deserves. The death penalty is nowhere near enough what he deserves.

And guess who this asshole quoted, reprinting an entire post? The one and only Tony Pierce (link to the quote). This prick quoted Tony Pierce over a year and a half ago, and now Tony himself is feeling that he is indirectly linked to this sick fuck. This murdering asshole has the temerity to act like a normal person and when he was able to commit an atrocity such as this. He used Tony Pierce's words in a way similar to that of the way Beatles' lyrics were used at the Manson murders. Motherfucker. I must say, my faith in people is rapidly fading.

This thing that calls itself a man destroyed the life of a 10 year old. He destroyed the life of her family. He used a great writer in his own writings and felt that he was somehow equal to him. He scarred the skin of the world by his simple presence. He planned it.

Fuck. Should've gotten therapy, asshole. It's free from counsellors at school, and they're more than willing to help. Fuck you. I can't write about this anymore.

Go here.

Don't fuck with me.

2006-04-09T15:46:00.000-04:00

If you're going to leave a comment here, you're going to state your name or at least a username. I want to know who's criticizing me or agreeing with me otherwise your argument, whatever it is, is effectively rendered into nothing on account of you being a fucking coward. It's like yelling "fag" from a passing car and thinking you're an original badass for making an argument that they'll never be able to counter because you're too much of a fucking pussy to show your face. It's also similar to stalking. You know, when you're being watched by someone who sends you message after message every day and you don't know who the fuck they are? Yeah, after this kind of bullshit, any argument is rendered obsolete by ano-fucking-nymity.

If you're going to make a statement, let people know who you are. It doesn't matter if you're in the fucking spotlight your whole life, or if you're a fucking recluse. At least you weren't too much of a goddam sack-bellied strumpet cowardly bitch to hide behind anonymity. Say what you have to say, and say it proudly. It doesn't matter if it's a criticism of a particular person or the fucking government. What matters is that people will know you said it, and at least one other person is going to agree with you. If luck is with you, then you're going to have a lot of people who agree with you. And, if you're really lucky, you're going to be right. In most cases I've seen, however, they weren't right, but I at least have some minor respect for them for having the balls to stand up for what they believe in. Too bad they're wrong... and in some cases, can't spell worth a damn.

Now onto relationship stuff, and first up for degradation is blackmail. I've been talking to Mike about this little bitty of bullshit, and we both agree on it (which is usually the case). Where the fuck do people think they get the right to try to blackmail someone for something they did that they think is wrong? It's none of your fucking business, and if it is, what right do you have telling their spouse? I hope you choke you lying jealous bitch. Don't you ever fucking do that to my friend. If that's what you think will get him to believe you're a good person, then you need to be thrown in a cage. If you have any complaints, then no one will believe you because you're the one who got yourself thrown in the fucking cage in the first place. What's that? No fucking argument you blackmailing bitch? Your shit has been ruined, and it's all because you can't fucking accept that he doesn't like you and never will, and you being a giant slagheap isn't going to help with that. Face it, the fact that he doesn't like you is because you're a bad person who is trying to make his life a pile of shit. Obsess much?

Back to stalking for number two. That's fucking creepy, and it'll get you no one and nothing. Have you no shame? Do you honestly think that by being the person who sits in the tree at night with a pair of binoculars you're going to be the one to achieve the person? It's not dedication or love. It's obsession, plain and simple. It comes back to cowardice because you're too much of a pussy to either make a move or move on. What gives you the right to prevent someone from having happiness in their life because you're spending all your time scaring the fuck out of them? Nevermind, don't attempt to answer that. Nothing gives you that right. Fall out of the fucking tree and live your life. Make a move or go away.

That's all I've got for now. Remember kids: don't stalk, don't blackmail, and don't leave pussy anonymous comments, because if you do, then you'll never be able to say anything again without having the fact that you're a coward thrown in your face.

By the way, don't believe this kind of bullshit:

...

2006-04-07T17:53:00.000-04:00

I don't know. There's a lot of things I don't know. I don't know why I feel like I'm going insane. I don't know why I feel like puking. I don't know why I don't know. I don't know if my girlfriend is happy with me. I don't know if she ever was. I don't know why she wouldn't tell me if she wasn't. I don't know why I feel like ripping the monitor off the desk and throwing it out the window. I don't know why I'm shaking. I don't know why I'm scared. I don't know why my heart is beating so hard. I don't know why my blood pressure is rising. I don't know what I did wrong or when I did it. I don't know why I'm pretty well a fucking emo kid now. I don't know why my friends hate my girlfriend. I don't know where they feel they get the right to tell me that I'm just another "flavour of the month" for her when they don't know her. I don't know what's going on around me any more. I don't know where I get the right to bitch about things I don't even know. I don't know why I feel like the bad guy. I don't know why I feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy by everyone around me. I don't know why I'm posting this. I don't know why you'd read it. Will someone fucking tell me or at least help me figure it out?

Teh Emo Orange - A Satirical Tribute to Clementine

2006-02-20T17:36:00.000-05:00

Bumpy, soft, waxy - I don't want to feel it
A hiss of air, as if it were a soul being torn from its body
A horrific rending sound, like that which my skin makes when it parts
It is terrible and odourless

Oh Clementine, you are like me!

I wish I could be more like you!
Even more than I already am!
Uncaring, unfeeling,
not tortured with this nihilistic existence!
I wish I couldn't feel when she tears my heart out,
much like one tears out your fruit!
So soft and stringy,
still oozing with lifeblood...
So like me...

I've come to the conclusion that all emo kids want to be oranges. You people should listen to me more often, I have great insight into human minds.

Public Service Announcement

2006-02-18T10:13:00.000-05:00

"Stop Fucking Those Guys"

False Humility.

2006-02-17T11:49:00.000-05:00

Go to hell, you bastards and stop telling people what they already know. Let me explain... I was in my Writer's Craft class, trying to keep myself awake because I was running on a total of 10 hours of sleep within a 96 hour time frame, when the piercing squeal of a Chronic Dipshit struck my head like a hammer to the skull of a baby. The Dipshit said this:
"My writing is better when my mind is transfixed on a computer because my mind works better. When it works at all, that is."
So basically you call yourself an idiot almost constantly, but when I tell you you're a fucking moron when I've called you out on something stupid that you've said you get pissy about it? Go to hell, hypocrite.
Hopefully you're aware of the difference between regular, acceptable humilty, which goes along the lines of "I'm just like everyone else," and false humility which is "I'm pathetic and retarded. I'm lower than you." No shit?
Little hint, you fucks: you won't earn respect if you have none for yourself. If I wanted to hear what I already know, I'd tell you and record it so that I can play it over and over again in your face so that you know how pathetic you truly are. False humility gets you nowhere, whether it be mentally, spiritually or financially, and when you die people will be saying only what you've said about yourself your whole fucking life.
Ditch this shit if you want my respect. At least put up a fight so that others will know you're attempting self-improvement. Goddam, you chumps. I've fought children who've put up a better fight. Fuck.

UPDATE:
What I find to be even worse is when people who aren't stupid say they are. Whether it be fishing for compliments or they actually think they are, this gets under my skin so much more. If you're smart, you don't need me to tell you that you are. If you don't think you are: STOP THINKING IT.

My weiner dog can kick your ass.

2006-02-12T23:45:00.000-05:00

Let me explain: my little weiner dog, Lucy, has been paralyzed from about the middle of her body down for the past four months or so. We don't know what happened, but this has happened on two separate occasions, both of which she healed from at a rather rapid speed. This third time, our confidence was shaken when she became very sick along with being unable to walk. We were afraid we'd have to put her down.
We came to the conclusion that there was no fucking way we were going to do that unless absolutely necessary, so we've just been taking extra-special care of her. Now, in the past few days, she's been showing signs of vast improvement, as she's able to stand under her own weight and able to walk, whereas before she would either fall to the side when attempting to stand, and she would have to drag herself using her front paws when moving.
She's still a little shaky, but she's able to do (for the third time, I might add), what most humans can't: overcome a severe spinal injury resulting in paralysis. And we usually need physiotherapy for that. She, a miniature-daschund in which spinal injuries are both common and hereditary, has overcome this with no medicinal or physical aid other than us taking her outside when she needs to piss.
This, people, is why my dog can kick your ass.

Short n' Sweet - An Update From Mr. Reznor.

2006-02-12T23:27:00.000-05:00

http:/nin.com/tr/index.php

When are people in movies

2006-02-09T17:27:00.000-05:00

going to learn not to fuck with Harrison Ford? Honestly, who fucks with one of the most badass of actors? Well, aside from me, but I figure he and I would be pretty evenly matched anyway...

Back to the point, though. Why would you honestly even debate on fucking with this man? He thought it would be rude to let his stuntman take beatings in his new movie Firewall. His reasoning for this was that since he'd been payed to be in the movie, it would be rude not to take the beatings.

Why would you fuck with the guy who's a bullwhip-carrying, laser-shooting, Nazi-fighting, history teaching badass? I wouldn't be surprised if Harrison Ford actually did fight the Nazis while saving an Indian village from the ravages of the Thuggee cult. You might be thinking "You dumbass, he wasn't even able to be in the army during World War II." You're wrong. It's Harrison Ford. Enough said, so go to hell.

The New Semester.

2006-02-08T16:34:00.000-05:00

Well, ladies and gents, it's the start to a new semester in this oh so wonderful town of Owen Sound. And wouldn't you know it; it's already been partially ruined for me. And in the most surprising of places as well: Writer's Craft. Apparently the teacher has some censorship issues: that is to say, she likes to not read our writing if it gets too extreme for her. Apparently we're supposed to tone down our style if it's violent or the like, even if we're comfortable with it and trying to develop it into something better. I'll develop it into a style that appeals to me, because that's who I happen to write for. If I actually wrote with an audience in mind I'd never get a fucking thing done. Ever.
Agh, I was hoping for a class that didn't suck balls. At least I'm with some friends in this class.
So you don't like profanity? Deal with it, because my writing style has plenty of profanity, as without such it would seem like it was written by someone not trying to get people ticking. A story that doesn't make you tick is one of the most boring things in the world. Not that I try to overuse profanity but I'm not censoring myself either. So shut the hell up, because this is my writing style and I'm sticking to it and developing it my way. Not yours. So eat it.

I have seen the blood!

2006-02-03T22:15:00.000-05:00

Aprroximately 12 hours ago, ladies and gentlemen, I had my wisdom teeth removed. Now, when I get pictures of them, I'll upload, but you'll have to wait at least a day.
The actual procedure was more annoying than anything, but luckily, I had my music. I've come to the conclusion that when I get high I get more fucking paranoid than usual, even off nitros oxide (laughing gas). At the time, I decided it would be a good idea not to let them know that I was paranoid by mouthing along to the music I'd brought along.
One thing about nitros oxide, you don't really know that you've been high on it until you move something like a toe. Then it hits you like a hammer to the soft palette of a child, except without the screaming and pain.

Tooth #1. Ten Thousand Fists by Disturbed, This Celluloid Dream by AFI
Tooth #2. Can't remember
Tooth #3. Goliaths Disarm Their Davids by In Flames, Free Fall by In Flames
Tooth #4. Wish by NIN, Hello Time Bomb by Matt Good

To be honest, it took more time to prep me for the extraction than the actual extraction itself. Fucking swelling. That's all you get until I upload the pictures.

Thieves make off with Stars and Stripes.

2006-02-01T11:43:00.000-05:00

From the Owen Sound Sun Times January 31st, 2006:

An American scout troup returned to Ohio without their US flag and some fire extinguishers went missing from scout campsites in Harrison Park Saturday night.

The scouts were in the park this weekend for their annual winter campout. About 130 to some 490 campers were from the US, including the troup of 6 boys aged 13 to 16 and their leaders from Tipp City, Ohio, who camped at the back corner of the campground.

They'd put away the flag in a dining tent for safekeeping while they joined hundreds of scouts who attended the Owen Sound Attack game Saturday night. At least one of the fire extinguishers was emptied by the toboganning hill at the north end of the park and was recovered.

Owen Sound police questioned a couple of people seen in the park near where the thefts occurred, but nothing linked them to the missing flag and extinguishers, Sgt. Sandra Green said on Monday morning.

A scout organizer who wants the flag back is inviting the person who has it to put it in the book drop box of the Owen Sound and North Grey Public Library. Owen Sound scout organizer Rick Waters said no questions would be asked.

The troup rode 8 hours in a bus to the Owen Sound campsite, which Ohio scout master Randy Marion said is one of the troop's "adventure outings".

Marion said in a telephone interview Monday his troup knew something was up when they returned from the hockey game to find that the snowmen they had built had grown breasts from strategically placed snowballs. He's been around scout campouts long enough to expect that sort of thing, and realizes it may not have been done by the same people who took the flag.

The US flag had been placed on a table inside a dining tent. "It was just some misguided youths getting into whatever kind of mishief they could. I truly, honestly believe that," he said. "I would like to get my flag back."

In all, four fire extinguishers were taken from the campsites. The extinguishers were on loan from an Owen Sound fire safety company.

Another Ohio group had their Scout troup flag stolen from their camp in Harrison park four years ago. That prompted other scout troops to bring in their flags when they're not around camp, Marion said. It would be impractical to lock up everything valuable in their buses, he said.

Marion led Sunday morning grace in which he called for his scouts "not to let the actions of the few outweigh the good of many."

"I hope my boys don't see this as a dark stain on their feelings for our neighbouring country and I'll do my best to prevent that."

Waters said volunteers provide security for the campsites when the scouts are away. They observed three people near the area of the thefts and gave police the names of two of them.

Belongings are left in the open at the camps because part of the experience of Scouting relies on building trust, Waters said. Now they'll be hesitant to enjoy the campout.

"Everybody leaves everything out in the open. It's a world of trust and I think that has been breached. They love coming to Owen Sound and these guys said they would come back. But they just said they would have to be a little more cautious," Waters said.

Now, who in the mighty fucking hell does that to a bunch of kids? I mean, I know I talk about fighting children, but that's because it's good for them. I'm training them so that they can succeed in martial arts, so fuck the hell off. But someone who pulls some stupid shit like taking the flag of a country? No one deserves that kind of shit. No one. Fucking hell, I hate this goddam town. I hope whoever did it falls off a fucking bridge.

DON'T EVER BELCH INTO THE PHONE, ASSHOLE!

2006-01-28T19:33:00.000-05:00

Food + phone = DON'T FUCKING CALL ME!

2006-01-28T19:17:00.000-05:00

Has anyone ever called you while stuffing their face full of food, and they still keep talking? This is one of the most digusting things I've ever had the misfortunate of experiencing. All you can hear is the disgusting chewing sounds and them trying to force the words out of their muffled faceholes and your own gorge rising as you struggle not to vomit from the fucking sound of it. You can hear them drawing breath so that they can either chew or swallow, and then you start trying to imagine what they're eating. In this case I'd imagine it's Doritos or something like that. Fucking disgusting. If you know my phone number, don't call me if you're eating. Ever.

Thanks for coming out, Randy.

2006-01-22T12:03:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you know the vocalist for the band Lamb of God? You know how the vocalist needs about 12 filters on his voice to keep it from sucking so bad? I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I can sing in his style with less than minimal effort. I've known this for a long time now, but just now felt like posting this for everyone to see.

Thanks for coming out Randy, but you've been owned by a 17 year old who's been singing for less time than you've been famous and who can still do it better than you.

We Were Soldiers Once... and Young - Lt. Gen. Harold G. Moore (Ret.) and Joseph L. Galloway

2006-01-21T16:07:00.000-05:00

I'm currently reading a book on the battle in the Ia Drang Valley as told by the commander of the battalion and the only journalist on the ground during the fighting. I'm not very far into it (not even 50 pages), but already it has been a descriptive, bloody account of what happened before the American military even went into Vietnam, the circumstances in which they entered, the incompetence of President Johnson's running of the war, and the brutality of the deaths that happened in the first few weeks of America's involvement in the war.

The book is also chock-full of mini-biographies of some of the soldiers under Hal Moore's command, some who died and some who didn't. Already I can tell that I'm going to be reading this more than once, and I highly recommend it to anyone, even though I'm not far in it.

This book is about Vietnam, but also about the brotherhood of the soldiers in Ia Drang, who fought and died to save their comrades.

Today didn't suck.

2006-01-20T14:56:00.000-05:00

From the time when I woke up to now when I write this, today hasn't really sucked that much. Though I do have a seething hatred for the the school I go to and almost everyone there, I can say that both things didn't bug me today as much as they normally do. Even my APES teacher didn't piss me off as much as she normally does, except she kept telling people to ask question regarding other peoples' ISUs because she's too fucking stupid to come up with any questions of her own.

Honestly, I don't know how she became a teacher. She doesn't know how. The very concept of whatever gave anyone the incentive to hire her as an educator eludes me. I hate that class so much. I know, I know, repetitive as hell, but fuck the hell off if you don't like it. This is my blog, I'll write whatever I damn well please and if you don't like it then stop reading.

I'm actually in a good mood, though. I got some sleep last night. Not much, but enough for me to sleep in until about 10 minutes from school's start. And since I live about 5 minutes away (10 right now because of the ice), I should have been in a rush to get out of the house. Naturally, I took my time, and made my usual arrival into art class: messy, frizzy hair, black bags under my eyes, face pulled back from being pissed off that I'm awake. The only thing different is that I didn't have my fucking coffee.

Beautiful coffee, how I love thee. Hot and black, you are just the thing that I need in the morning after a night of little sleep. Kind of odd, talking about a drink as if it were a person, yes? Happens more often than you'd think. Just ask my girlfriend. Coffee can't step to her. Not even a chance, she rules all over coffee's ass. Coffee is pitiful and weak in comparison.

This is a pretty fucking unconventional Me-blog. I'm kinda liking this whole positive thing. Don't get used to it. I guarantee you, someone or something will piss me off before long. Most likely myself, because I have a tendency to do that.

Just so you know

2006-01-18T19:20:00.000-05:00

I don't hate Sing the Sorrow. It's actually one of my favourite albums. I just wanted to get this fucking thing out of me.

AFI - Sing the Sorrow

2006-01-18T18:13:00.000-05:00

1. Miseria Cantare - The Beginning
So it's time for another Rock Blog. I've just finished Marilyn Manson's autobiography The Long Hard Road Out of Hell. This is the second time I've read it through completely, and I can honestly say that it is one of my favourite books.

2. The Leaving Song, Pt. 2
The reason for this is because he throws his whole life in front of your mind's eye like a bag of raw meat (which coincidentally, he did to one of his fans). The vivid detail in which he describes his squallid life is almost tear-inducing, but you can't cry because some (most) of it he brought upon himself to fit in with talkshow-America's ideals on how to live your life until he snapped out of it.

3. Bleed Back
I fucking hate the hypocrisy of everything I see from the time when I wake up to the time when my dreams end. Everywhere I go, I see the hypocrisy of people trying to make a difference in other's lives by being a torment to themselves and asking about other people's problems to try to make themselves feel better, thinking that through their own self-righteous bullshit facade they've made a difference in people's lives. If you want to learn about someone's problems, for fuck's sake, at least care and not brush it off.

4. Silver and Cold
I can't say that I haven't been guilty of the same thing, but at least I can admit it. It's disgusting when someone asks you what's wrong and then you can tell that they're only half-listening. It's in their eyes. I used to be guilty of this. Then I decided that since I actually do care about people, no matter how fucking much I hate them or no matter how much I fucking love them, I would listen. It never bores me. You learn a lot about people from the tears they shed on your shoulder.

5. Dancing Through Sunday
MSN isn't working right now. There's been some stupid bullshit problem going on where my girlfriend and I will be talking, and then it registers us as Offline. I just got back onto the computer, because my dad needed it. I spent the entire five mintues pacing around think of how I would like to tear off Cary Grant's face and replace it with Bambi's mother's and kicking into the air.

6. Girl's Not Grey
This is my favourite song by AFI. I've been debating putting my fist through a wall, which reminds me of the time back in October when I punched a wall so hard my wrist split open. Have I mentined that I'm claustrophobic? I've also got anger issues that I manage to keep under excellent control, but when mixed, the two don't go well together. Along with being alone for an entire day, boredom is not a good thing. It's like mixing cocaine with piss and shit. I'd assume that, all in all, the outcome would not be very good.

7. Death of Seasons
I love my girlfriend. I'm not sure she really knows just how much she's done for me just in the few months we've been together. I'm not even sure, but I know it's been a lot, and it's all been good. I've been able to come to terms with my own flaws and attempt to fix most of them. For the most part I think I've succeeded, but a few I keep around because they are entertaining, at least to myself. I think that self-entertainment is one of the greatest traits one can possess, because even if you can't make others laugh, at least you can make yourself laugh. I really love her.

8. The Great Disappointment
Funny how this new title is the exact opposite of the last one, eh? I never meant for this entry to be uplifting or to bring you down, but I do know that the first paragraphs are depressing, at least to me. People (myself included) need to understand that once something is out in the open, it's a lot easier to get over. Even though there really isn't much to feel bad in this aside from the fact that I'm claustrophobic and getting pissed off because the phone won't stop ringing, I still think it essential to write. Just in one of those moods, I guess. These songs are too short and too long. I don't have enough thoughts to express in the time limit of each song because, as you may have noticed, I'm separating ym thoughts into paragraphs for the duration of each song.

9. Paper Airplanes (Makeshift Wings)
I got fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got fuckinh nothing. I got fucking nothintg. IO got fucking nothing. I gotn fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I gopt fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got nothing fuckers. I got fucking nothing got. I got nothing. I got fuck nothing
Fuck I got nothing. I got nothing. I fuck. I nothing. I got fucking nothing. I got no fucking thing. Nothing I fucking got. I hate having nothing to say. Fuck nothing. Fuck Nothing. Fuck iPods. Fuck shitty consumerism pothead executives trying to sell cool through the award shows.

10. This Celluloid Dream
Fuck the music industry with their shitty sell-out mass consumerism bands that never learned hwo to play an instrument or sing so they need synthesizers to make their voices sound good and tinny and give me a headache and make me want to go throw a cow off a bridge onto the buses that ship these bands from shitty city to shitty city that just accept the bullshit in passing without a second thought or glance. Fuck the Monkees. Fuck Hollywood. Fuck shitty movies that pretend they're something they're not. Fuck the hate of the mass consumers to those who don't feel the need to conform to the media's slick ideals of how they're supposed to dress. Fuck the poeple who bash those for dressing the way they want to, whether it be brand name or not. Fuck the hypocrite who wrote this shitty entry.

11. The Leaving Song
I didn't even see that last one coming. That last sentence was an apology in case I offended any of you, even though you'll probably still hate me for it. I hate this entry, and was originally going to scrap it, but then I was convinced to keep it ( it didn't take much) and I'm glad I'm able to write. This is getting a lot out of me that I really need to get out. Song is almost over.

12... but home is nowhere
This title doesn't ring true in my mind at all. Home is where the heart is. The heart is located in the chest on the left side. I don't care that the original intention of the title was figurative rather than literal, I'm just doing this to start an argument with myself that'll make me sleep tonight. It works. But once again, the song is too long and I don't have enough thoughts to fill my time frame. So I'm getting pissed off again, which'll keep me awake. I can't stand not being able to sleep. It drives me nuts. I also hate waking up, because then I'm not asleep. The waking moment is the hell which you'll never notice. It's the transition from the heaven that is sleep to the purgatory that is the midpoint to the hell that is the first realization that you're no longer awake. Then you forget.

13. This Time Imperfect
The CD is almost done. Only once in my life have I ever looked forward to something more, and that other was the day that I asked out Kat. The CD is done.

Maybe if we watch television

2006-01-17T00:18:00.000-05:00

we can see it through their eyes? Just how in the hell can we feel what people in New Orleans were going through by watching television? Just because you see someone carried away by floodwaters on the TV from the safety and comfort of your own home does not give you the right to shoot your mouth off and say "I know how you feel." No, you fucking well don't. Not unless you've been carried away by floodwaters yourself, but chances are you haven't so you need to shut the hell up.

Chronic dipshittery - a fatal ailment.

2006-01-15T23:27:00.000-05:00

ChronicHave you ever met someone so arrogant that they feel it necessary to state a well-known fact as their opinion? For instance, I was reading through a conversation online, and some asshole had the balls to state that "In my personal opinion, I think people try to stand out to feel 'different'." Good job, asshole. Any other tidbits of basic human psychology learned in the second grade that you'd like to share with us? Or are you too high up on your horse to know that it's not a matter of personal opinion? It's a fucking fact, get over yourself and stop trying to tell us what we already know, you condescending sock-sucker.
Honestly, who feels the need to state a fact as if they're trying to prove something that we all knew before they did because they're a fucking dipshit with ego issues and bad skin who needs to rely on starting arguments in comment sections to make themselves feel intelligent when they've pissed someone off enough to the point where they totally unload and fucking own you?! Got news for you: when you get owned in an argument that you started, you're not intelligent. You barely qualify as stupid. You suffer from Chronic Dipshittery, a fatal ailment, which causes trouble breathing, an inflated sense of pride not dissimilar from that one would acquire by drinking alcohol, and eventual heart failure because you're too motherfucking stupid to get your fat ass out of bed to take your fucking heart medication.

Mussels are the vaginas of the sea.

2006-01-14T04:17:00.000-05:00

Disagree with me. I dare you.

Fuck school.

2006-01-13T18:51:00.000-05:00

Or more specifically, my psychology class. Honestly, I fucking hate that class. It might be better if the teacher didn't suck, but unfortunately, that isn't the case. Today we were given the opportunity to do a cheat sheet for the exams, with a list of what would be on the exam. Now most of you are thinking "Wow, this guy likes to piss and moan about basically being handed a 100%. What a bitch." You're wrong. A cheat sheet doesn't do you any good if 3/4 of what is on the list wasn't covered during the semester.
Seriously, most of the stuff that we're apparently doing on the exam no one has in their notes. Now how are we supposed to study for something that we never even covered. Oh right... we CAN'T! I hate my class so goddam much.

Fucking forget it.

2006-01-12T00:07:00.000-05:00

First of all, I'm going to delve into a little history, if I may. A few years back, a group of friends began a monthly gathering known simply as "Pie Day". This would occur on the second Friday of every month. On this day, people would gather to talk and eat pie. All was well for about a year or so. Then the emo kids came... Not just scene kids. Emo kids.
We all know of these bastards; the sniveling, whiny, manically-depressed-because-it's-a-fad, fun-ruining motherfuckers. Thesse are the pieces of shit that have destroyed what used to be my favourite day of the month, the only reason to pull myself off my ass from my computer chair and go outside to associate myself with the people of the world (aside from going to the Drop Inn centre or, as of September, going to see my Kat, the girl I'm head over heels for). We'd gather at Harrison Park or the Bayshore in the summer, and in winter, we'd usually be able to stay inside the Dragon's Den, a local martial arts dojo.
Our welcome at the dojo expired after January 2005 when too many people were disrespecting both the club and the rules associated with. People made a mess and didn't clean up, moved things without permission, broke things and didn't take responsibility, etc. All of this combined wore out our welcome fairly fast.
Once we'd been kicked out we were without a winter place, until I offered my home for February's Pie Day. For both that one and the next, things were good. No one disrespected my home or me, and it was just all around fun. Then we started having them outside again... and the emo kids began to show up.
One by one, they began to fill up our once happy crowd. A few people, myself included, tried to keep everything under control yet still have fun, and I must say we did a pretty fucking good job. Until September. One of my former acquaintances decided that he would throw a hissy fit in the form of a temper tantrum in the form of a mental breakdown over a girl who'd broken up with him two months before. Long story shirt, cops were called, most people left, and I spent most of that night trying to calm down people that were in hysterics. Later, I subsequently decided that Pie Day would be held at my house until further notice.
October had to be one of the weakest turnouts I've ever seen. A grand total of 10 or so people were there, and we spent most of that time talking about sex. November was much more impressive, as there were about 25 to 30 people that passed through my house. Unfortunately, this was also the night I decided that there would be no more Pie Day at my home until further notice, as there was fucking pomegranate thrown all over my house. So Kat, Bert, my sister and I cleaned it up. My sister went to bed, and then Kat and I kicked Bert out. This was the night I lost my virginity, and I'm glad it was with someone I trust.
December... I wasn't there, but I hear it was truly shitty. I was off ATVing, eating at the Mandarin in Oshawa, and really just having fun. It was half-assed fun, as I missed Kat immensely, but more fun than that Pie Day. It was there that I, like my girlfriend, liberated an octopus from the Octopus Salad.
Now a friend of mine has come up with the idea of revamping Pie Day, to make it an exclusive, invitation-only thing. I can understand this, but it goes against everything the original Pie Day (of which he was a member) stood for. Here's the kicker, however. He's apparently decided that he won't tell who's invited or where it's located until the very last minute. If he or anyone else plans to have it at my house or anywhere near, forget it. Not a chance. With this poor planning, we'll be lucky if we get anyone ever again. Fuck this shit.

Goddam ISU.

2006-01-09T23:59:00.000-05:00

So I've finally finished my ISU. Technically, I finished it at 5:30 AM this morning, but shut the hell up. At the time I'd covered every possible argument that I could think of, both for and against my thesis, so I'd decided to finally get some sleep. So I laid in bed from 5:30 to 6:30, then slept until 8:30. I woke up, got dressed, and went to school. No time to clean up at all, or getsweet luscious coffee. On my way I thought up two arguments that I hadn't covered, plus some things that I could have elaborated on. Now, the arguments are easily discounted, but still, they're not in the paper, so I was pissed off. I hate my APES class.
Upon arrival at the school I discovered that not only I had made a fairly short paper, which cheered me up a bit. At least I know I'm not the only one content with a pass, rather than trying to change the fucking world with a paper that was written in high school. Fuck that. People who do that get killed.
2 hours of sleep is no good, but a 6 hours nap is. Eric Cartman of South Park is a terrible, terrible person. The episode I'm watching is him pretending to be a retard to win a handicapped sporting event. Then again, Jimmy's taking steroids. Goddam, Matt Stone and Trey Parker are fucked up.
This is what happened at a Chinese restaurant Kat, Nathan, Bob Dole,

Mike and I went to. At least what happened to me.

Rock Blog.

2006-01-06T02:18:00.000-05:00

If you're unaware, Tony Pierce (http://tonypierce.com/blog/bloggy.htm) invented something called Rock Blogging. My friend Mike (http://farfromrelevant.blogspot.com) recently brought this my attention through his blog. What you do is stick a CD in your player, and don't stop blogging until the CD has finished.

Rammstein, Rosenrot

Mike's returned to Owen Sound for a few days, which is insanely awesome because A) I haven't seen him in 4 months or so and B) he's awesome. He got into town sometime Wednesday night while I was bowling with my girlfriend, other friends and my sister. It was quite the fun night. I've discovered that Westside Bowl has the second most-awesome burgers in existence, the first being those from Superburger which, if I'm not mistaken, is actually famous for it's awesomeness. We bowled from about 7:30 until 9:45, I believe, and played two games. My team lost, though the members of the other team had their moments of hilarity. We had more. My best moment was when I actually threw the ball behind me. It could have crushed my foot, which wouldn't have been good, but it luckily it didn't, so I just find the whole thing funny as hell. Honestly, never in your life will you see a bowler as terrible as me. Even the pins pitied me, because they knocked themselves down in the second game, giving me a strike. This was before I even picked up the ball to take my turn. Though earlier in the game, I actually did get a strike through my own skill, which boosted my confidence in bowling a little, until my next turn which resulted in a gutter ball. Twice that night I almost hurt my wrist because of holding the ball wrong, which actually wasn't too funny. Other people had their moments, but no one there could say they threw the ball behind them. I win, even though we lost the game.

Today, I spent some time attempting to work on my ISU for Psychology. Suffice to say, it didn't go well. I spent about half an hour staring at the screen, trying to find sources that supported both what I'm trying to say and don't suck. Believe it or not, this is quite the difficult task, so I got pissed off and went to sleep for another 3 hours. When I woke up, I had to leave in an hour to go to my martial arts class. The walk down was not fun. It was cold. I mean body-shriveling-inside-cock-shriveling-inside-body cold. Seriously, I was a fucking vortex. I didn't enjoy it, though I did have Slipknot to keep me company. That first half of class was one of the hardest workouts I've had in a long time, though I was greatly rewarded in the last half of the class: I was given the chance to fight children. I fought seven of them, sending them all to the ground more than once. It was controlled sparring and these kids don't annoy me, so they're alright. The only reason I didn't fight eight kids was because one of them forgot the proper gear. I would have fought him anyway, but rules are rules...

Afterwards I went to the Drop-Inn to see Mike. Upon arrival, I discovered that he had gone to Tim Horton's with some people. So I walked there. When I reached Timmy's, much awesome ensued for the next hour, which included sharing drinking stories and me slapping Dan in the mouth. He quite literally asked for it. I've come to the conclusion (long ago actually, but bear with me) that I need to go drinking with Mike. He needs to make me his version of a rum and coke. Personally, I prefer beer, but beer isn't something to get drunk on. Beer is starter, but a starter is all I need, because I'm a relatively cheap drunk. Not to the point where I'm toasted after one beer (that's just fucking sad). I've never actually reached my limit with just beer, but I've discovered that 7 in a row makes me a little more than tipsy, but not much more than a little. I actually don't know my limit yet. I went past my limit once, which resulted in me pissing on a table thinking that I was at a party with Nathan. I need to go drinking with Nathan as well. He's offered to take me under his wing, and more than happy to accept.

As of now, I've a beer in my hand that's been in the fridge for a week (BLASPHEMY!) and the CD is almost done. I must say, Mike was right: Rock Blogging is awesome. I need to work on my ISU today, as it's due on Monday. The teacher (it hurts to call her that, actually) is one of the most vague people I've ever had the misfortune of being "taught" by. Honestly, the woman cannot teach. Her methods are some of the most ineffective I've ever seen in my 12 years of schooling. Not that I need this class, because I know my shit and know it goddamn well, but the class bores the hell out of me. Why the hell do I need to learn about theories that have been disproved, disproved again, and then torn apart? Why not teach us things that actually have some merit, and not some pothead's theories about the mind? Fuck it, I'll just do it, no matter how vague she is about the whole fucking thing. I should get my girlfriend over tomorrow. She can actually help me on this damn thing, because she knows her shit, too... I really want to get this damn thing done. The way the teacher wants it is basically a thesis, 3 supporting paragraphs, and 7 pages of bullshit filler. She'll get the first two things. I like to get to the point. I'm going to sleep now.

I'm paranoid.

2006-01-04T02:40:00.000-05:00

Seriously. I don't think I truly trust more than 5 people with anything. If I don't know you, then until you prove that you're trustworthy, you can stay the fuck away from me. As far as I'm concerned, until you prove you're not out to get me or my friends, then that's just what you're going to do.
I just wrote a story tonight (this morning, technically) that had to do with my thoughts on my way home. I've learned that I can't pass by someone without expecting them to try to pick a fight with me. This is with good reason as it's happened before, but that was in the summer, which is not now. I figure it's good to be on your guard in this town. It's kept me from getting hurt before.
I like how people don't start shit with me or my friends anymore. It keeps me on my toes.

Go here (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/27238231/) if you want to read the story. It's just a draft, keep that in mind.

Peter Jackson is an Asshole.

2006-01-02T00:38:00.000-05:00

Here's how it goes:

E=explosion/bang
R=running
L=lovey-dovey shit
S=someone dies

E---->R---->L---->S (loop)

Turing Time! Write the code if you want, I can't remember how to do it.

Don't try telling me that the special effects were cool, because, in all honesty, I couldn't give a damn. What I want is what this movie is lacking: story. Emotional filler is not story, it's BORING. Bah, I'm tired. Too many special effects, too much love crap, not enough awesome which the original possessed. I did, however, enjoy the bugs, which actually did freak me out, and the residents of the island, who looked suspiciously like John Merrick. Get over it. You want to see Adrien Brody in a good movie? Watch The Pianist. Don't waste your time.

3 out of 5.

Movies.

2006-01-01T18:54:00.000-05:00

Tonight I'm going to the movies with my girlfriend and my family. In all likelihood we'll be seeing King Kong, Peter Jackson's 3 hour long marathon of of apery starring Jack Black as Kong. I think that this should be a good movie, as I've only read one negative review that made me laugh. Time said"… our response to the ape's doom, once touched by authentic tragedy, is now marked by relief that this wretchedly excessive movie is finally over." See? Funny.
Since the original kicked so much ass, I'd assume that since Peter Jackson is doing a remake, this new version will kick as much ass. You'll know when (if) I review it.

Head like a hole, black as your soul, I'd rather die than give you control.
Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails

Happy New Year.

2006-01-01T15:03:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year.

The First Post

2005-12-31T04:28:00.000-05:00

It's epic.